Hi,

My 18yr P lives the other side of the world and most of the time that is perfect but the worry never goes away----is he ok, is he missing me etc etc.Before we moved and he lived with us my life was in turmoil and when I look back I dont know how I coped-----every day was a struggle. I seldom ate and know I drank too much just to blot out the pain of living with it all.

My other son is nearly 16 and has all the traits of a P.Once again I am just surviving each day.

My marriage has suffered so much and still is. H is not their natural father and he has no idea what all this is like for me even though I have tried to explain.

People, like the Police etc etc keep telling me what a nice lad my 16yr is---they are blind. Social services and some of my friends think I am the worst mother in the world----they are blind.

Both sons and I saw a psychiatrist once and she thought there was nothing wrong with either of them and couldnt see what all the fuss was about. I knew medication would not be something I would consider for either of them. I have worked in the mental health field for 20 yrs and I know that no medication can give them a conscience. I also knew there was not really a diagnosis for them.

I now just pray for the day my 16yr leaves home as I am not strong enough to go through all this again and my marriage will not survive much more of this.

It is awful that we suffer so much and have done nothing wrong.