dear screamsinside-your name gave me the words  to communicate my level of emotion to my husband. the level of rage disappointment sadness (my errrr!  'darling' 14 yr old  psy/nar son just walkes into my room and made fun of me because I put both hands on the monitor  'mom has a secret?' I said 'yes i do. he laughs) about the feelings - sometimes i have to physically recover from them. that level of  feeling is exhausting. i don't have to tell you how  they can go from charming to you wondering if they just bit you in 2 seconds or less. Congratulations you just got your self a penpal [email protected]  you really sound like some one i can relate to.  drop me a line (or2,3, or maybe 7 i have those kind of days too). i will respond promtly. i noticed that your story is gone. so you'll have to catch me up please. well, i have 5 yrold twin boys and a 7 yr old  total goth lite and my precious pony lover( shes my never gets in trouble straight A child). type at you soon-belrose777