Hi Kellllo

Well...'im sorry for your pain, it is so hard to fathom.....all of it. Ok..have you read up much on borderline? I'm pretty sure my daughter has this. You mentioned your son is or (was) a transvestite? This would sort of go along, because borderlines usually have a big identity problem. They don't know WHO they are. We were talking about my daughter last night and the fact that she has so many different personalities. At one point I thought she had multiple personality disorder. She tries to act like a saint at times and at other times I don't even recognize her when shes acting like a complete hardened criminal....(it depends on who shes hanging out with at the time). They don't have a real personality of their own,,so they are kind of like  a camelion......taking on someone elses personality.....I hope you find answers...sadly most of us have to read all we can and take our experiences and decide or diagnose for ourselves or come to our own conclusions, because these things are so hard to get definitive answers on. Good Luck>d.j.

Hiya. I got an old photo album out this evening, there were loads of photos of my P daughter. She was so sweet, such an innocent and cherubic little face...but as I was looking at her all I could think was look what she turned into..............and, she was pulling the wool over my eyes way back then but I chose not to see it and put it all down to her being a little bit more headstrong, a bit sharper upstairs etc than any other child I ever came across. So, I didn't feel depressed looking at photos of the good old days at all, cos really i don't think there were any good old days where she was concerned.

I can relate to that DJ, I would hear my daughter talking on the phone and wonder who the heck that person was and what did they do with my daughter.  It certainly wasn't the daughter I knew, the person who never missed a chance to slam me, put me down or tell people horrible things about me, but could be so charming when she wanted something from me.  It all depends on who she is with at the time.  Why, can we see them for who/what they are, yet we are labelled the crazy ones?

 

Dancer

GASLIGHTING

I'd never heared the word, then when I did, I never knew what it meant. There is a post on the main P board. 22 years on I'm still learning. It is a deliberate act or words done/said to make you question your sanity. Xp did it and now I see so clearly that Pson does it. Knowledge is power. It happened only yesterday. My daughter told me that she had told him that I had received his letter. Nothing odd there, but, 2 hours later, my son texted me asking, did I get his letter? Why?..............to confuse things, mainly me. But now I can see what's happening.............I know, I'm NOT crazy, it's just another one of his many, many games he plays.

I think the one thing that really annoys me is the "Creating Camps"  Everytime my daughter discards me, she runs around turning everyone against me.  As she did this time with my oldest son and his wife.  I'm not going to say it doesn't hurt, because it does... he's 25 now, with two children, and even though he knows what his sister is like, he still falls for her lies.

 

The biggest shock he got when he tried to bully me this last time was my telling him that I didn't need him to survive, if he wanted to be part of MY life, he would treat me with the respect I command as a human being as well as his mother. If he couldn't/wouldn't, then he wouldn't be in my life....it's that simple.  I wasn't put on this earth to be stomped on my my kids and I wasn't going to put up with it.

 

So right now, he is learning the true meaning behind "I brought you into this world, I can take you out of this world"  This world being ...*my life*.  A hard lesson to learn...an even harder one to teach.

 

Dancer

to dancer.well done you!!!!!

And also Jilly, children never tell lies do they?! This is what the 'experts' will have us believe. All of us parents know that in fact, these children DO lie and manipulate. It's what they do best. As long as they're OK, that's all that matters.

 

Best wishes

Vee

Dancer

Thats the predictable and wierd thing about these kids. Theres a book about borderline personality disorder...I think it's called something like: "I hate you, Don't go"...or something like that. And it explains how these people really resent/hate everyone. They push you away, but then they panic and fight to get you back in their good graces. It's a way of life for them. They usually tear up someone (us), then move on to the next victim (we are then out of site, out of mind for now). This is what worries me about my daughter..now that she's divorced, she's working 24/7 (2 jobs) and has completely given over care of the 2 children to...whomever. The poor kids. I think they are out of her mind for now. It's like she can't do two things at once. She cannot "integrate" her life..it's hard to explain.Yes...they burn many bridges, then they use their charm to get back in good graces, then they think to themselves..."again, victory". And the cycle begins. It's SICK. And my daughter did the same thing. She was going to a college, she would come over and trash EVERY person there and "what losers they are" "sluts", "whores", blah, blah.....WELL...those are the VERY SAME people that she has plastered all over her public webpage as her best of friends as soon as her and I had the fall-out!!! Unbelievable!! d.j.