Coping with the Psychopath/Narcissist Child

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Coping with the Psychopath/Narcissist Child

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Message 1 of 9 in Discussion

(Original Message)

Sent: 25/05/2006 5:36 p.m.

This message has been deleted by the author.

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(1 recommendation so far)

Message 2 of 9 in Discussion

From:

Kazza9100

Sent: 25/05/2006 5:49 p.m.

Hi,

How terrible for you, firstly to have to go thru your son being taken away from you and then 10 years of not knowing where he was.

Even worse tho, to finally find him must have been an emotional time for you only to find out he is the way he is.

I am so sorry you are going thru this but at least you are on the right track in saying that he is gone for good. A lot of us keep going back and just trying again and hoping that maybe they will change. Unfortunately, they dont.

You are in my thoughts,

Kazza

(1 recommendation so far)

Message 3 of 9 in Discussion

From:

mychildhatesme2

Sent: 25/05/2006 10:33 p.m.

Dear Tortured,

My heart goes out to you as I have been in your shoes with CPS as well as an abusive ex spouse & daugter.

I raised my child all by myself so her N behavior is a blow to me as a mother as I was unable to afford treatment for her (she had signs of it at age 3-4) before it was to late. She used to enlist neighbors & my childless (clueless and resentful because I could procreate) Aunts to call them to save her. Finally she started doing it herself. I became terrified to disipline her because I knew she would and I was afraid I would lose my 2 younger boys. The caseworker finally figured her out, Thank GOD!

I was so wore out I finally, in desperation, took her to CPS, in a different state, and tried to get them to take her! They refused so I got a judge to sign a waver allowing her to marry her boyfriend so I could live in peace. Since she was only 15 yrs old then, she's 31 yrs old now, it never stopped.

To make it worse she had a child, left him with me for his first 5 yrs and then took him away only to dump him with his petty crook father. He will be 15 yrs old now, living, I think, in Louisiana.

She would never tell me or would refuse to give me the address where they lived and as soon as I found it myself ($Private Detectives$) they, his father and him, would move. Public records show the father gets evicted alot, 3 time in one year alone, last I checked.

I haven't seen him since Christmas 1999, for 30 minutes. She brought him over, collected their gifts and left. He asked to stay, she refused to let him. I haven't seen him since.

Need Help with how to handle CPS

Have you checked out http://members.tripod.com/cadkit/

It gives some good advice on how to handle CPS and clueless caseworkers.

I have in the last few yrs cut myself off from her. I don't contact her and she has not bothered me in a long while either. The N supply in her profession is abundant, she a pro boxer and her good looks are still there, as far as I can see from the pics on her web site. http://shelbywalker.com

If you look, her own son is not even mentioned on her web site! I can only assume she either could care less herself or she has lost track of him as well. She was not raised that way!

You, like me, have to keep telling ourselves that our children are the way they are through no fault of our own.

If you are Christian, read the Bible. I have. It is one of the few things that has literally has saved me more times then I can count!

They even had N children back then too!

If you are not Christian, I hope it doesn't offend you but I listed my favorite verses below.

I know it is rough right now and it very well may get worse at some point. Keep your chin up, your feeling in check (in front of your son and his aaccomplises) get help from a couselor, if you can't afford one try MHMR. They may be able to help you get the support you need in your area. In the meantime, I hope the members and the information in this site offer you the help and support you deserve.

I personally hope that I have helped in some way, I care, I know your pain, and I will keep you and yours in my prayers.

Jeannie

Wicked Children

Know not God 1Sa_2:12;

Are void of understanding Pro 7:7;

Are proud Isa 3:5;

WITH REGARD TO PARENTS

<DIR>

Hearken not to them 1Sa_2:25;

Despise them Pro_15:5; Pro_15:20; Eze_22:7;

Curse them Pro_30:11;

Bring reproach on them Pro 19:26;

Are a calamity to them Pro_19:13;

Are a grief to them Pro_17:25;

Despised their elders Job_19:18;

</DIR>

PUNISHMENT OF, FOR

<DIR>

Setting light by parents Deu_27:16;

Disobeying parents Deu_21:21;

Mocking parents Pro_30:17;

Cursing parents Exo_21:15; Mar_7:10;

Smiting parents Exo_21:15;

</DIR>

Their guilt in robbing parents Pro_28:24;

Message 4 of 9 in Discussion

From:

dj7106

Sent: 26/05/2006 12:26 a.m.

Jeannie

Those verses fit us to all to a "T". Wow,,,,I guess N/P's have been around for years and years. It is so hard not to blame ourselves, but I know you're right. d.j.

Message 5 of 9 in Discussion

From:

tortured383

Sent: 26/05/2006 2:30 a.m.

Dear Jeannie,

Thank you for your quick response. Also, thank you for sending out your
heart;I will borrow yours as mine seems to broken at the time. I want to
thank you for pointing me into the right direction. I am a Christian, and
although not having been a practicing one as of lately, I do know that
reading the Bible is what helped me through my last P ten years ago. In
fact it was the only thing that helped. That and my term"positive revenge"
which I see as-since I dont' have it in me to get even, I will be trying my
best to put my energy towards bettering myself evertime I find myself
thinking of P.

The last time, what helped me was that everytime I began to think of P, I
would pick up somehting that was intended to help better me. My "revenge"
is to be stronger and happier than ever before. Sounds like a commercial
for a new toothpaste huh? Well it works...it's called new and improved.

Thank you for all of your support. I couldn't have gotten to this last goal
if I hadn't of reached out. Practicing it all will be a whole nother thing
but at least I have a good clue on where I want to go with all of this. I
now have a glimmer of hope)at least for myself.

I will be checking out those passages that you sent me. It's funny. I
never knew that P's existed back then too;it just didn't occur to me. Maybe
the good thing to come out of all of this is that I will have a renewed
faith that I will never let go of again.

I have set up an appointment with a counselor. Thank you for encouraging me.
I will also be looking itno that website that you pointed me towards.

When you described your story, I no longer felt alone. It sounded exactly
like my XP. He too dropped my other son off with his Mother for her to
raise while I did not know of my son's whereabouts. It got so hairy, that
she had my son removed from her home to a foster home. He has been running
interference, making it so that she has not seen or talked to her grandson
in three years.

He couldn't have the sense to se that my son was in the right place. He had
to come in there and raise havoc. Life is never normal around a P. It's
only when they want something.

Wow, when I look back at re-reading your story, I no longer feel alone. I
felt really bad about myself for the steps I have taken. After reading your
story, it has validated what my instincts told me to do all along. Thank
you for all of your time and consideration.

My prayers are with you you also.

Julie

_________________________________________________________________
Don’t just search. Find. Check out the new MSN Search!
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Message 6 of 9 in Discussion

From:

genie327

Sent: 26/05/2006 7:30 a.m.

Hi.your story is heartbreaking.....so sorry this has happened to you....hope you can find what you need to recover. Hugs. genie

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Message 7 of 9 in Discussion

Sent: 26/05/2006 5:27 p.m.

This message has been deleted by the author.

Message 8 of 9 in Discussion

From:

KELLLL0

Sent: 26/05/2006 7:18 p.m.

Hi tortured, what an absolute nightmare you are going through.Your emotions must be everywhere. I too am glad you reached out. I hope you work through your emotions and find peace of mind.I will be thinking of you.You sound like a strong person. Kell

Message 9 of 9 in Discussion

From:

dj7106

Sent: 26/05/2006 8:49 p.m.

We really need to search for the "calm" in the face of the storm, don't we?? Even just reading these stories makes me tense,stressed and almost nauseous. This stuff has physical effects that we ALL need to protect ourselves from, especially as most of us are not getting any younger! PEACE. d.j.

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