Hi,
How terrible for you, firstly to have to go thru your son being taken away from you and then 10 years of not knowing where he was.
Even worse tho, to finally find him must have been an emotional time for you only to find out he is the way he is.
I am so sorry you are going thru this but at least you are on the right track in saying that he is gone for good. A lot of us keep going back and just trying again and hoping that maybe they will change. Unfortunately, they dont.
You are in my thoughts,
Kazza