Hi Lil...pleased to meet you. I am in the same boat as you..we all are here in one way or another......and dancer is so right about our kids using their own children against us...or against anything or anyone they can really........very sad. Unfortunately, you don't have a daugheter.actually you never had the daughter you thought you had any way....sorry if that seems a bit blunt........and its hard going through the grieving process once we come to realise this.....but its a healing process too..everyone on this board has been down the same road too. This morning I got up and it felt good just to be alive..and no P daughter to upset things.and the only way she can have any chaos in my life again is if I let her. I feel for you re grandchildren....but if you do NC, then its only a matter of time before your daughter needs to get back in touch with you for some more fix.........sorry again here.....and maybe you can work it to suit yourself so you can at least see the children. I always remember..........if her mouth moves.she lies......she breathes in air and breathes out lies........so I don't listen to a thing  my daughter has to say anymore.