Hi Shadow Dancr,

That is so sad that you are not able to even see nor know where your grandchildren are. I have been through years of on and off again seeing mine, it hurt so much in the early years like you are going through. I know how much you must be hurting the not knowing, not even a picture. Maybe in time you might get one but probably not if she has no need of you. My daughter gave me a few pictures over the years. I have none of me with them .My grandkids are now 11, 12, 14, and like you I wonder what she has told them about me the two girls wont' even see me, my grandson came over on his bike a few times and also when he is in trouble like a  couple of weeks ago he needed stitches and thought his mom was not home. I know she has brain washed them. You know you love the grandkids and have done nothing but good to them when you can see them , and you wonder how they can say things to the kids about you to alienate you. I could have taken her to court for visitation like you said you felt it was better not to, and I also made that decision, there are times I have regretted this since she had total control over my visits with them the whole time..  But for you, like you said it is better to leave things alone, rather than stir things up again and lose the peace of mind you now have.  That is how I feel now that I am just doing the NC with her and my grandkids I dont' even ask to see them anymore.