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How to Feel Like a Computer Expert!
This ought to make us all feel better about our
computer skills
Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my
diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make
a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute... I hadn't inserted
it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry....
Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on
to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "Start" for me
and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting
technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I
can't print.
Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'.
I've even lifted the printer and placed it in
front of the monitor, but the computer still says
he can't find it...
Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.
Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me
at the 7-11.
Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the
computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10
paces back.
Customer: OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not
plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here.
Ah...that one does work...
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right
password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do
it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password
was?
Customer: Five stars.
Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has
placed a screen saver on my computer, but every
time I move the mouse, it disappears.
A woman customer called the Canon help desk about
a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but
that is a good point. The man sitting in the
cubicle next to me is under a window, and his
printer is working fine."
And last but not least...
Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control
and escape keys at the same time. That brings up
a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type
the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!
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