This is my sure fire way to meditate and get into a relaxed state of mind.
Hope it works for you.
Get into a place where there is no one else, and where you won't be interupted. It should be quiet, and it is best if you can be very comfortable, like in a lounge chair, or on your bed. Turn the lights off, and close the curtains to lower the light level. Light a scented candle if you want, or burn some incence that you like the smell of, but only if it's relaxing. If you burn incence during sex or use scented candles at that time, then dont' use them now.
You're going to try to relax now, and you don't need to be reminded of sex. 
OK lie down or sit down, and take a couple of deep breaths and start to relax. Now, take a very deep breath, all the way in, in, in. Hold it just a split second, not even long enough to read this, and then let it out, slowly, out, out, out, let it all out.
Take another very deep breath, all the way in, in, in. Hold it just a split second, not even long enough to read this, and then let it out, slowly, out, out, out, let it all out. Count 1000. Tense your toes and relax them on your right foot.
Take another very deep breath, all the way in, in, in. Hold it just a split second, not even long enough to read this, and then let it out, slowly, out, out, out, let it all out. Count 999. Tense your toes and relax them on your left foot.
Take another very deep breath, all the way in, in, in. Hold it just a split second, not even long eneoug to read this, and then let it out, slowly, out, out, out, let it all out. Count 998. Tense your right foot and relax it.
Take another very deep breath, all the way in, in, in. Hold it just a split second, not even long enough to read this, and then let it out, slowly, out, out, out, let it all out. Count 997. Tense your left foot and relax it.
Do the same thing and count backwards, tensing next your calf on the right then the left, then your knee, then your thigh, then buttocks, back, stomach, chest, shoulders hands, arms, neck, jaw, face; all the while taking long slow deep breaths and counting backwards from 1000. If you loose your place, you have to start over.
Do this for 25 to 30 minutes, 2 or 3 times per day. Not more.
If you fall asleep, that's OK. You relaxed, didn't you? Very seldom will you get all the way to your face.
OTHER WAYS
There are tapes available on the market. You can find them at most bookstores, or on the web.
My personal favorite are those by Kelley Pound, and the folks at
Just put meditation into your search engine though and look at the sites that come up.
Good luck on your try to relax with meditation.
Dan