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| | | From: hissyspit01 (Original Message) | Sent: 10/28/2008 9:05 PM |
Just a short update to let you all know what happened after I separated from John. It's been a whilwind affair to say the least and a lot has happened. Life is much better though and I am very happy and busy, the way I like to be. I thought it would be harder than it was emotionally, but I guess I was more ready than I knew. We really don't fight, but I am discovering how much of my life was missing and get really upset when things are said about what I am doing or what someone thinks I should be doing. Mostly I am discovering how much of my life was missing or just pretty much went to making excuses for someone else! I am working hard to lose those old habits, and I don't miss them at all! I moved about 10 miles or a bit more from the old place. I have a trailer and was able to bring my horses with me! So Chico and Rose are with me and doing well. There is a nice barn where I can brush and saddle or do general things, with lights for dark days or nights if I so choose. There is a small arena I can work the horses in too. It's really pretty nice and the rent is dirt cheap. I have a dog and two cats too. There are some goats, a donkey, and chickens everywhere so I am pretty happy in the new barnyard. LOL, it's just perfect and I feel safe and relaxed! It's like heaven, it really is. Now that I understand how it feels to break up and lose a relationship after all these years, I send my prayers out to our memebers who are struggling to keep a relationship afloat and my love goes with those prayers. But let me say this too, if you have the feeling it might be easier to let it go and be on your own, your gut feeling is probably right. It hurt to let go of my relationship after 23 years and all the kids we raised, but I also found that getting to be myself without all the stress is much easier in the long run than beating myself up and whipping a dead horse! I won't tell you that your heart won't feel like it's getting ripped out because it will feel like that. But after a while, when your own emotions begin to emerge and you find that inner self that has been hiding, I think you will find that it wasn't as bad as it seemed it would be. One thing I do know, it feels good to know that I am not a burden on someone. For all the times I heard how I couldn't do things on my own and felt more and more worthless, it's awesome to know that I am none of those things. I found that I can do a lot on my own and if not, I can find a way! To think I beleived those words that I was told and now to know different makes me feel much better. LOL, don't let the world beat you down! Take it by the horns and beat it back to where it belongs! |
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You're doing great, Hissy!! You are a strong woman, and can do anything you put your mind to....we all know that! And you found that out, too....it's a shame you didn't know that before...but, guess when you get 'beat down' on a regular basis, you don't question it. But, now you know!!! You did it! You are on your own, and doing very well, too. Keep it up....sure there will be tough days...heck, we all have them. But, with your faith, your hope, it will all get done.....by YOU! Hang in there, Hissy....we're all here for you! Hugz, Dee |
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| | From:  EUCmom | Sent: 10/31/2008 2:29 PM |
Hissy I am so proud of you for all you have accomplished in the last few months. I myself don't know if right now the way I am in so much pain all the time if I would have your strength to be alone, but yeah that innner strength does come out from somewhere. I am glad to hear the excitement in your writing about your new life adventure; because in the end that's what it ends up being, one adventure after another. It ends up being what you make of it. I would be in heaven too having all the animals around, I know my dog and cats keep me company when everyone is gone all day especially when my pain levels are high they are completely by my side. Have a nice weekend. Kim |
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