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| | From:  Noora_Ela1 (Original Message) | Sent: 4/21/2006 7:57 PM |
Hey everyone, where do I start. Around 20 years ago I got hurt on my job. I worked in a carpet mill, ceiling and mending and inspecting. I was always lifting heavy yearn over my head. One day I nosiest a pain in my shoulders and down my arms. I went to the nurse and she sent me to the doctor, that’s when my life changed. I have always worked, but after that I had to stay home. I tried to work a little longer until the pain was to hard to bear. I had to go to therapy for pain, and while I was doing that I starting having saver panic and anxiety attacks. My life changed and has never been the same. I have been on every antidepressant you can think of, and on different pain pills too. I was going to my doctor and she started making me feel like every time I got sick it was in my head because I had depression. I have changed my doctor since then. This doctor is trying to get me to feeling better, she is trying to get me to go back to a pain center, but I started having the anxiety and panic attacks while I was at a pain center. I don’t know if I will. I have already missed my appointment. I don’t have any friends at all. I have only my daughter and my two son’s, and they have their own life now. I have my husband, but I know he get tired of my depression, but I know he loves me. This is my life. Not much, but it's mine. It's funny I don't do anything that is fun, the things I did before I don't want to do anymore. I can't think of anything that would make me happy. I hate that feeling. Hug’s Noora |
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OK here I am again. I stay in pain and I feel guilty for taking pain med's. When I start feeling that way I stop taking my pain med's. Right now I am not taking them, but I think I will have to call my doctor. It hurts to even be on the computer, drive a car, I cant swim any more. I have to be careful what whatever I do. I don’t know what I can do anymore. I do wish I could work. I hate staying at home. I am on disability, and sometimes I feel like people look at me and think I should not be on disability, but I am, and I can’t help it. I wish I could.. Anyway here is a little more about me. Noora |
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| | | From: Dan | Sent: 4/21/2006 11:52 PM |
You're stuck, hon in a cycle of pain and depression. you've got to break one to break the other. Did you read what I wrote you about how pain patients don't get addicted to their pain meds? And how YOU won't get addicted. You may become dependent, like a diabetic is dependent on his insulin, but you won't become addicted. Does that sound familiar? Lots of love and hugs, Dan |
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It does sound familiar. I feel like my life is hell most of the time, and I am so busy trying to make my husband happy that I don't feel happy. I can't talk to him about everything that bothers me because he don't understand. He tells me to stop taking pain med's, and that I take to much medication, because he don't want to see me get addicted to them, but at the same time he take some just to help him relax, not as often as me when I take them. It seems like it take a stronger pain med to help my pain, and he don’t understand that. I feel like a bad wife and a bad mother sometimes. I hate that too. Why do we feel guilty for everything? My daughter smokes, and one day I thought, why not so I tried one with her. I told my husband about it and he told me he did not want me to smoke, because when I first meat him I smoked and I quit. I know it is bad for me, and I did not smoke anymore. I guess what I am trying to say is why do I have to feel guilty for everything I do? I really did not want to smoke, but I was looking for something. I don’t know what, but something. Does that make since? Thanks my friends. Take care, and good night. Hugs' Noora |
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| | | From: Hannah. | Sent: 4/22/2006 7:02 AM |
Hi Noora I noticed how you mention you never have any fun, or ever feel happy. Maybe that would be a good place to try and change. What did you used to enjoy doing? Perhaps you can start to do something small, that will get you out of the house for short enough times that you don't feel anxious. Do you like to garden?How about buying a planter, some potting soil and some flowers? Spring is here, and maybe having some new, bright flowers to tend to will give you a lift? Hannah |
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Thank you Hannah. I did go out today shopping. I feel some better today. I am talking with my mom, she lives 6 houres way. I miss my mom and dad so much. Have a wonderful day. Noora |
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| | | From: Hannah. | Sent: 4/23/2006 3:14 AM |
I'm glad you had a nice day. Maybe you can go visit with your Mom for a few days, or weeks? I bet she misses you too! |
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Hey Hannah, I am going to my mom and dad house for my birthday, which is on the 23 rd of may. My husband and I are take them out to eat. |
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| | | From: Dan | Sent: 4/23/2006 11:30 PM |
Noora, Print out what I wrote about not being addicted if you're a pain patient and show that to your husband. Or just get him to read it on line. He is so out of line telling you not to take your pain meds. Shame on him. Where did he get his medical degree? I just really get some serious heartburn when spouses start with that. They don't know. They don't have a clue what you're going through, and then to tell you not to take your medicine seems to me to be just plain cruel. I chalk it up to ignorance. Grrrrr. But I would love to go in there and take a hammer and break his toes and then tell him not to take any paiin meds. I don't want him to get addicted. Better not show him this post. LOL
Lots of love and healing hugs,
Dan |
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That's funny about the toes. Thank you Dan. I really don't know why, but it seems that husbands, or wifes just don't understand what we go through everyday of your lifes. I am taking my pain med's. My doctor gave me Hydrocodone. I made an apointment with a pain doctor today. I go on may 26th. Hug's Noora |
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HI LISA ANYTIME YOU NEED TO TALK WITH SOMEONE I AM GLAD TO LISTEN I HAVE YAHOO MESSENGER ONEEYED_WOLF41@YAHOO I DEALT WITH MAJOR DEPRESSION/PTSD BACK IN 96 FOUGHT MY WAY OUT OF IT ONLY TO RUN INTO BACK TROUBLES BUT THATS IN MY BIO ROBIN |
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