Dealing with Chronic Pain

I would like to tell you the story about a "sock". Just a simple little sock. In all of mine and Craig's 20 years together, he has left his socks in the middle of the room where he takes them off. Now, he is usually a pretty tidy person so to me this was no big deal. He always helps out around the house and is not a slob. It's just Craig.

So I pick the socks up and unroll them because each one is always in a ball, and always in the middle of the room.

He has always been hard on socks too. He wears big ole steel toed boots that always leave them stained no matter what I do and he can wear a hole in a sock like nobody else. The days before we left to go to Cleveland last year for his transplant I of course got the house in order so that everything was left nice. I had so much on my mind in the morning that I didn't notice until I put the key in the door to shut it that there, in the middle of the room were those darn man socks

I gave a shrug, shook my head and we were on our way. Of course when you go in for surgery they make you take everything off, and when they get you back to your room, they have those ugly little footies on you. You all know the ones I mean

Well, when Craig got into such trouble after surgery and was taken to ICU for three months, they always had those darn things on him. They didn't want me to put regular socks on him. I vowed that if, and as soon as he was released to a regular room that I would walk down to the drugstore and get all new socks for him. It somehow would just make him look less sick. After seeing him a hair away, or I should say, a breath away from death for the 3 months in the ICU, I started day dreaming about being able to buy those socks. Finally, after getting released to a regular room 5 different times and having to go back to the ICU, each time, very,very sick again, I walked down to the store and bought those darn socks. I was thinking crazy things. You make up weird things in your mind when bad things go on for soooo long. I thought, if I don't put it off and just get them, maybe he will get better and be able to wear them soon. Like I said, crazy thoughts. Grasping at anything. I had never in a million years given socks so much thought...lol....I did go get them and sure enough, crazy as it sounds that week he went to the regular room and stayed there for another 3 months. I was so happy to put those pure white socks on. Sooo, time goes on and he gets well enough to go to a nursing home where he would stay for the next four months. Once we left Cleveland and he was in the nursing home I would sit with him every day, all day and work with his legs to get them stronger so that he could start to walk. Those pure white socks that I had been so happy to put on his feet were now ticking me off because they were sooooo white. I would change them every day and when I would take them off to wash them, there would never be a speck on them. That meant that another day had gone by that he was still in bed. I wanted dirt! I hated those pure white, fresh out of the package looking things. Little by little with therapy, he started to stand. The first time I changed those socks and they had dirt on them was one of the happiest days I had ever had......lol...Well, weeks passed and through many more hospital stays, another surgery and getting stronger, we were finally home for good. He has been getting stronger all the time but has not had the strength he had, so things have come back slowly. Last month, I was doing the dishes and picking things up. There, in the middle of the room were those dirty, rolled up socks! Just as though nothing had ever happend. It looked the same as it did the morning we left for the hospital. It shocked me for a minute and felt like the emotions of 17 months came rushing in. I picked them up with tears streaming down my face and thanked God. Bet he has never been thanked for dirty socks before! Seeing them made me feel like we were truly home. We had made it and we were not only home like we have been, but we were getting back to normal. I guess the reason I wanted to share this silly story with all of you is that it shows the true meaning of not taking anything at all for granted.....I mean, come on.....socks.....geesh, how silly. All I know is that it just makes me want to embrace every little thing in this life of ours, dirty socks and all.

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Dealing with Chronic Pain	[email protected]