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|  0 recommendations | Message 1 of 3 in Discussion |
| | (Original Message) | Sent: 3/18/2003 7:05 PM |
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Disco.
your story really hit home. although we have different experiences,
we have done some of the same things. I am 47 and was not diagnosed until 2
years ago. I was diagnosed as borderline a long time ago with depressive
episodes.
My hubby has put up with a lot. I have changed since I have the right
meds,but I thought I wasn't doing anything wrong at the time. anger fueled
some of my behavior,or feeling low. I hated to take the meds at first
because the highs were exciting to me and I was afraid of being blah. Well,
I turned blah but the meds are being readjusted.I was too down. I am still
looking for the right meds,but I have learned how to be a better person.
You have a nice hubby it sounds like, and you seem to know yourself well.you
seem like a really wonderful person who had some bad things happen to
you.Keep working at it ,you sound like you are doing better.
luvnhugs,
belladonnatex
----- Original Message -----
From: "Discochic" <[email protected]>
To: "JANICE'S BI-POLAR SUPPORT SITE"
<[email protected]>
Sent: Tuesday, March 18, 2003 1:05 PM
Subject: Disco's Story
-----------------------------------------------------------
New Message on JANICE'S BI-POLAR SUPPORT SITE
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From: Discochic
Message 1 in Discussion
I'm going to give this a try although I'm not really sure where to begin. I
know I have had Bipolar all my life it just never had a name till I was 20.
When I was a little girl I NEVER wanted to be at school I would have RAGING
tantrums. My mother was the only one who could calm me down. No one else
wanted to deal with me. I was a "problem". It wasn't until 4th grade that my
mom could actually relax during the day and know the nurse wouldn't be
calling to say I was having fit could she come and get me!!! The Teenage
blues hit me hard. I always was felt like an outsider to my friends. I was
the girl who was "in" one minute and "out" the next. It hurt me
tremendously. I would always shake things up though...be the one who would
do things no else would do. Never with drugs or anything just things people
wouldn't do. In 8th grade I was sexually assualted by a student in my
school...at school. I held it inside for a long time. I missed a whole year
of school because I wouldn't go. I ended up being home schooled and then
shipped out of district. Around age 15 I met a man who was 29 and liked
the attention he gave me and I started to have an intimate yet not sexual
relationship with him....I believe this was my first manic episode. I saw
nothing wrong with what I was doing. My family however did!!!! He was the
one I confided my "secret" too. That ended quickly after my family figured
out what was going on. School was never a safe place for I left when i was
17. I met my fiance around that time. He is the one who has stood by me
through everything and the one who made me go on medication...something my
family wasn't even successful at. He excepted me though. And I.... over the
years have been awful to him. (in waves I should say) I was violet and hit
him, I have cheated on him, I have verbally abused him. He has been strong
enough to know that the person he fell in love with is still inside me. That
I LOVE him and I am getting help for the pain I have inside me. He is my
reason for wanting to be well and Not just give in to my disease. (In my
right mind I never would have done the things that i have done to him) my
family has been slow to come around and except my Bipolar. The just went on
believeing I was a lazy tempramental loser. With the exception of my mom who
is my strength along with my fiance. They are slowing coming to except that
I have ups and downs that I can't control. Me on the other hand I don't know
if I have fully accepted it. I talk about it alot with people. But
sometimes it feels as though I am talking about someone else. its hard. I
have condensed my story to fit this site. ALOT OF ME has been left
out....but this it....here I am.....and guess what? I'm ok!!!!! (Today
anyway!)
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Disco, Glad you shared your story with us  . Many of us can relate! ((((hugs)))) |
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