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Why God Made Moms<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P><U2:P></U2:P><U2:P></U2:P>Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:<o:p></o:p> <o:p> </o:p>Why did God make mothers?<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P><U2:P></U2:P>1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P>2. Mostly to clean the house.<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P>3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P><U2:P></U2:P>How did God make mothers?<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P>1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P>2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P>3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P><U2:P></U2:P>What ingredients are mothers made of ?<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P>1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P>2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P><U2:P></U2:P>Why did God give you your mother instead of some other mom?<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P>1. We're related.<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P>2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P><U2:P></U2:P>What kind of little girl was your mom?<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P>1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P>2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P>3. They say she used to be nice.<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P><U2:P></U2:P>What did Mom need to know about dad before she married him?<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P>1. His last name.<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P>2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P>3. Does he make at least $800 a year?<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P>4. Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P><U2:P></U2:P>Why did your Mom marry your dad?<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P>1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P>2. She got too old to do anything else with him.<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P>3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P><U2:P></U2:P>Who's the boss at your house?<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P>1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P>2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P>3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P><U2:P></U2:P>What's the difference between Moms and Dads?<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P>1 . Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P>2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P> <U2:P></U2:P>3. Dads are taller and stronger, but Moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask <o:p></o:p> if you want to sleep over at your friend's.<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P><U2:P></U2:P>4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P><U2:P></U2:P><U2:P></U2:P>What does your Mom do in her spare time?<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P><U2:P></U2:P>1. Mothers don't do spare time.<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P><U2:P></U2:P>2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P><U2:P></U2:P><U2:P></U2:P><U2:P></U2:P>What would it take to make your Mom perfect?<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P><U2:P></U2:P>1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P><U2:P></U2:P>2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P><U2:P></U2:P><U2:P></U2:P><U2:P></U2:P>If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P><U2:P></U2:P>1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P><U2:P></U2:P>2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.<o:p></o:p> <U2:P></U2:P><U2:P></U2:P>3. I would like to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head. Thought I would get the joke over first for a change! Hope you had a good day yesterday. Beth got her medication sorted out, Phil enjoyed a school concert (how wonderful they can be!) and Carole has been picked for the bowls match today which will have all helped to make the day brighter. I got praised for the way my lessons are going. I've just two more to do to get my Expert's certificate. I usually do one a day. Carole, I've found instructions to alter your status on the new site and as soon as it's up and running I'll do it. I don't know why I've suddenly gone into double spacing for paragraphs but the way this computer is going and can see me being without it before long.  I must try to remember to ring Phil about getting another box sometime. Have a good day, don't give up on us, things will get better before long. Keep smiling, love Joan 
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Sorry about the gobbledy-gook in the joke, I copied it from and old email. I'd do it again but I think it can be read as it is. hugs Joan |
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| Well it is a quick Hello and goodbye as we are of up to Gordon's today for an over night stay, just hope it is just the one night as the snow seems to be on the way down from the North. Phil so glad you had an enjoyable evening last night and your DGC look very smart. Carole good luck with you game today. Joan maybe Santa will bring you a nice new box for Christmas. Eileen, Linda and the rest of the gang do hope you are all OK as a long time no see. Well I had better go and get the packing finished. Take care and be good. Love Beth xx p.s. Joan I enjoyed the joke and found it not too hard to read. Why Oh why does that happen when you copy and paste from e-mails. the same thing happened the other day when I posted a joke. Beth |
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Morning all Yes, I'm still here. Big Sis has gone home now so I've got some time to myself. I hope that none of you have the snow - it's just been snowing here for a few minutes but seems to have stopped now. Good joke Joan - out of the mouths of babes! I'm going to sort out the Xmas cards today. I know I have some from last year in the Xmas boxes somewhere, so I've got to find those before going to buy any more. I'm also going to use up all the odds and ends of wrapping paper I've got too - no themed parcels this year - lol! In my drive for economy I used up the remains of a jar of mincemeat in some mince pies yesterday and it must have fermented as they taste like cough medicine . Should have tasted it first before baking  . Never mind, DH will eat them no matter what. Well done Beth on being picked for the bowls match today and to you Joan on your success in your course. I haven't seen you picture yet Phil but will have a look in a minute. Off to the gym now, back later.  Linda |
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Sorry Carole - I meant well done to you in the bowls!!  |
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| | From:  midfire | Sent: 12/2/2008 10:26 AM |
 morning all I might be needing him to pull the sleigh lol What weather well my bowls has been called off because a few of the girls are under the weather and we can not make up a full team so will pay the cancel fee next time and get on with some more house work. Joan will talk later ,Beth hope you get there and back ok,Phil glad the children performed well,Linda nice to see you,Eileen may see you in arcade and to uncle tom cobley and all have a good day Now going to see if I can get into the internet it was down a while ago hence not being on earlier.Carole |
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| | | From: midfire | Sent: 12/2/2008 10:27 AM |
Oh nearly forgot Joan is the say A man is judged by his deeds not HIS WORDS |
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Carole you have the saying spot on! Sorry your game was called off. Well girls, when I opened the back door to go to the garage this morning I said to Brian that if I'd known that it was snowing fast and laid, I wouldn't have even put my coat on. I would have stayed put. There was no sign of it at 6.15 and he'd looked out about 7 and it was quite dry but oh my! By time we got into the cafe (only a very short walk from the car park outside) I looked like a snowman. The sun is out now and I hope it will vanish tout suite. Goint to Range after breakfast, we were turning into the car park round a bend and the car slithered across the road, good job nothing was coming the other way. Brian soon corrected it as he is a very experienced driver and has driven all sorts from cars to pantechnicons, from small elecricity vans to double decker buses. The only time I don't feel safe is when he starts a coughing bout.  Beth I hope you enjoy your stay at Gordons's, pity we cannot control the weather. Have you seen the pictures of Venice? We were there two years ago and the water was coming up into the square at high tide even then. When we got back we saw a documentary about Venice sinking abd the things they were trying to defend it against the encroaching tide. Well whatever they were doing doesn't seem to have worked as people are wading about up to theirn thighs in water. Linda, lovely to see you back, hope you enjoyed your sister's visit - but of course you will have done. It's nice when you're back into your old routine, much as you love them you can see too much of them. Well must start to sort my cards wrapping paper etc out. I bought some wrapping paper from Range also some big thick carriers for the family's presents. I wanted five, one for each branch, but they only had three left of those ones and the others cost twice as much. I'll have to look out for two more from elsewhere. I intend to wrap the presents as I get them and then just chuck them in the appropriate bag. See you later, hugs Joan |
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| Good evening now all. I tried to post earlier but I kept getting a mesage saying pop up blocked, never had that before!!! Anyway it's o.k. now. I've been writing Christmas cards today, but nowhere near finished, I know too many people! lol Joan, my daughter used to work in the Range here and I could get discount on anything I bought, she's not there now and I found gift bags cheaply in the Pound shop if you have one - they're "1 obviously, but you get either two or three for that depending on the design or size. Well hope you've all had a good day, I'll try and get here early tomorrow as I have the car and will be out all day. This time last year I was in hospital not rushing around madly trying to find presents, I think I prefer the dashing about! Going to check Ebay now to see if I've won something Jonathan wants for Christmas, can't get it in any of the shops now and Amazon is too expensive! Sleep tight all. Love Phil x x x |
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