Silken Fire's Fireplace II

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Uh-oh... your phone just rang and it was the ex of your best friend telling you that they had ALWAYS found you attractive and now that they are divorced or gone from your friend's life, they would like to get to know you. You have always found them attractive as well but kept it under wraps... You have a serious decision to make. Your friend is now dating and enjoying their life once again... What would you do? If you've already had this experience, what happened?

Yes I would, why shouldn't I be happy?

I had this experience...the end results...I married her.

Ya know, I've read articles that say this is totally a crummy thing to do, that the exes of friends are always off limits, and I don't really get that. I would go out with the ex of a friend, although when one does that they make a choice, because the friend will be hurt and may not want to be a friend anymore. I did go out with the ex of a friend, I dated him for 2 years and then it went extremely sour. My friend was hurt at first, but she had been apart from him for several years and was dating someone else. And we are still friends, just not as good friends as we were before. But I think that would have happened anyway as we are just traveling different paths.

Yup...I agree with Top and Coco..

When I was dating Top's buddy it never dawn'd on me that the other fellow at the time (Top) had any interest in me..When his buddy decided to play around with other girls and act like Mr.Stud that's when I said adios..Then after all that crap happened I find out he had a steady g/f back in Thompson that he was planning on marrying..Needless to say by that time Top and I were already engaged and we both decided that the friendship we had with this guy wasn't worth it and as Coco says we were already travelling down a different path..

I have to agree with everyone else on this. I say it is ok......esp since we are talking an "ex" here. I personally have never experienced this either way but I see no real problem here......IF time has passed, wounds have healed or at least some resolution has been found.

I wouldnt want my freind to immediately start dating someone I just broke up with of course, but life goes on. It ended for some reason and everyone deserves a chance to be happy.

I think I would probably do it, esp if I new it was well over and my friend was moving on. I do however believe I would tell them immediatley of what was going on. They are my friend and they deserve to know from ME, not through the grapevine. And a true friend I believe would understand, and wish the best to you both.

Of course this is SO EASY to say having never been there.

I can only assume what I would do.

uhm, if i was friends with a girl who just broke up with her bf - i would not go after her x... call it principal call it moral i prefer to think of it as hetro. If her and my friendship was a one of them maybe more things then yeah sure give it a shot

Rat, yer funny. Why does this post not suprise me....

Ratman, you are without a doubt the man that keeps us on our toes and laughin my friend.

Somehow, I have managed to avoid THIS particular dilemma in life but it was probably more good luck than good management... Strangely enough, throughout life, I have always had a maximum of about 3 women I would call my "close" friends at any given time... But if I like them well enough to be their friend, then I am generally of the opinion that other people should like them too... Accordingly, if someone is dumb enough to break up with one of MY girlfriends, he generally doesn't get much more than a withering glance from me...

Perhaps if I was more worldly I would share the view that it is okay to date a friend's ex but I'm not.. I'm just a lil hick from the sticks who finds life infinitely better to simplify as many matters as I possibly can in what used to be, a very confusing life. If I think enough of another woman to call her my friend, I would not take the chance of losing that....

Worst case scenario where I WAS confused about it, I would sure be talking to her about it...

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