The bathroom is my favorite place in our apartment. I'm not joking. The bathtub is my own private paradise of delicious-smelling bath products, perfumes, lotions and other girly things, my place away from the world, my time to sit, soak, relax and detox. Sometimes I let my fiancé join me in my ablutions; more often, I lock the door, light some candles, fill the tub, and enjoy some private time.

Over the years I have honed the science of the bath into an art form, transforming it from a method for cleansing the body to a sensual experience that also calms the mind and soothes the soul. Because I care so much about you, my devoted MyPleasure readers, I will share my knowledge with you.

Here's what you do, in five easy steps:

1. Prep the room. Light a bunch of candles, arrange them around the edge of the tub (if possible), and turn off the lights. Either use scented candles or burn incense. Crack the window or door just a tiny bit, enough to allow a little cool air in. Set a tall glass of water next to the tub. Play soft music, such as classical, opera, Celtic or new age music. Make sure you have all your "equipment," including a washcloth, soap, loofah or scrubber, body wash and a waterproof sex toy if desired. Make sure the bathtub is clean (enough) and free of hair or other debris.
2. Take a shower. It may sound weird to shower before you bathe, but if you think about it, it makes a lot of sense. If you take a few moments to wash away the dirt and grime, you won't spend the next 30 minutes stewing in your own filth. After all, you clean the tub first, right?
3. Prep the tub. Take a moment to rinse away any last-minute debris, and then fill the bathtub with very warm water. You don't want hot water, which is too dehydrating, and you probably don't want cool water. When the tub is half-filled, add bubble bath, bath salts or bath oil and swirl. Fill the tub to the desired amount and get in. Don't forget to take your clothes off first!
4. Take the bath. Spend at least thirty minutes soaking and relaxing. If the water gets cool, add a little bit of hot water. You can wash, exfoliate, masturbate, read a book or whistle a merry tune, just keep your body submersed, letting the warm water relax your muscles and erase the white noise from your head. You might rest your head on a bath pillow or drape a wet washcloth over your eyes. I often enjoy using one of those gel eye masks, the kind you freeze for ten minutes and then place on your face like a pair of floppy sunglasses; the cold mask makes a very refreshing contrast to the warm water.
5. Rehydrate. When you're done with your bath, step out, pull the plug and dry off. However, before you get dressed again, take a moment to apply lotion to your still-damp skin. A long soak can suck the moisture right out of your skin, so it's important to add some back, or you'll look like a wrinkly prune. Now would also be a good time to drink that glass of water sitting next to the tub.