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| | From:  Capt- (Original Message) | Sent: 1/1/2009 4:30 AM |
| It's been awhile. For good reason. I am sure my computer isn't secure so i couldn't post about this. Here's the deal. You all know that my marriage hasn't been the best for a long time. I've posted some of my concerns in a roundabout way without saying too much. It came to a point that i had to do something for me and for my kids. I filed for divorce. I signed the paperwork over 3 weeks ago and have been waiting for him to be served. Before that could happen, it was made public by being published in the newspaper. He got a phone call today from his sister...who just happens to be my direct supervisor at work....and she told him. I have been off all week. He doesn't see the problems. It is going to get ugly. I know it. My work life is going to go down the toilet. I know that too. I am scared. I am worried that i could lose custody of my baby. I don't know what will happen. That would kill me. I have no doubt i am doing the right thing and that i had no choice. It got to a point that i had to take the risk for the sake of everyone. Even tho it's what i know is right, it doesn't make it easy. |
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I'm deeply sorry for the heartbreak and worry you're going through, I've been there myself. I'm also sorry for everything that brought you to this point, but those are just words. Words and $1.00 will get you a soda from most vending machines. These kind of decisions are never easy, and there are never any winners. Regardless of fault, you both lost the opportunity for a long and happy union. It's the children that usually pay the price since they're in the middle of all the hard and bitter feelings. Please, please do all you can to keep your little one out of this. Is marriage counseling a possible recourse? Think about it. If not, all I can offer you is these words and my prayers that you'll finally find happiness. . . . . . Paul |
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| | | From: Jðdý | Sent: 1/1/2009 5:38 PM |
(((((((((Capt)))))))))) It's not easy. Goddess know's I have walked where you are now, and she walked beside me every step to find my way out of the darkness. Have faith, have strength-stand in your truth, ask for help when you need it. Not only here on earth, but from those above, and all will be as it should be. I send you light and love  |
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| | | From: Capt- | Sent: 1/1/2009 10:38 PM |
| Jody...i know this is right. It's what i need to do. I've known it for a long time and my pleas to him to help me resolve all the problems kept falling on deaf ears. I don't understand why this is so hard. My emotions are out of control. He cries and it's hard to watch. I can't live with him as a partner. But i don't want to hurt him either. I feel like i am failing Logan. Just like i failed my other kids and cheated them out of a normal family life when their dad and i divorced. My first husband was chronically unfaithful. I just feel like such a failure. |
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So glad you told us,
but now you feel like you are alone. And in a way you are, with this one issue, but feel sure tht we´ll try to give assistance further on.
Just don´t let us out. Tell us what´s going on.
We are standing here for you . Let us know how you feel.
You are so very brave, and my heart goes out for you right now.
Wish i could help you more.
You know.. tho it sounds trivial, where there is a will there is a way. You have choosen and taken steps.
Of course that will hurt him, if he doesn´t understand.
-Is it going to be a Power-fight? Like his " higher " values against yours? or something similar?
I am right now praying that you will find or learn of what ever help you need to get in this matter !!
Don´t cry sweetie
The worst step is done.
The step you took in yourself and decided.
(( the rest is hard work))
And don´t be stranger. Talk to you later
Blessings sent your way // Victoria |
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how very odd,
we posted at the same moment Capt.
Guess that means we are in sync, in a way.
what is best for the children are that the parents agree on how to raise them, not if the parents love still remains with the other one.
You know, Children survive most things, but not dishonesty or hatred and such.
Kids always knows whats going on.
It is also very typically us women to take on the blame for what ever happens. LOL-
You just made lousy choise, and you did that because you loved him and believed him. Right.
Then he showed you that he did not love you.
so what wrong could you have done, really???
Now I am gonna go to sleep, is late over here.
It will be a Better year this 2009, just wait. |
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Capt. Seems you've gotten some good advice from concerned fellow SK members. I've probably never mentioned this on this site, but I'm a retired therapist who worked for the Missouri Division of Youth Services. As part of my job I also did a lot of family therapy, since that often is the root of many of the problems. If you would like my assistance in any way getting through this, you can contact me at my e-mail address which is [email protected]. . . . . Paul |
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| | | From: Capt- | Sent: 1/2/2009 4:56 PM |
| Thank you paul. I greatly appreciate the generous offer. |
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| | | From: Capt- | Sent: 1/2/2009 8:57 PM |
| Victoria...thank you as well :) It's nice to have someplace to go for support. This is hard enough without having to worry about my job. My personal life shouldn't affect my work life, but it will. I guess it's impossible to separate the two when your supervisor is your sister-in-law. Well...for her i mean. I don't have issues with her and i am not making her guilty by association. She is the one that can't separate the two. I dread monday :( |
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Hi dear, I have been sick so i wasn´t in. Seems you are feeling a tad better  - You have so much to deal with . I admire you a lot. Keep up the good work  - Do you have others to talk to? Can you find a supportgroup? Goodest luck to you. |
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| | | From: Tazy369 | Sent: 1/7/2009 7:26 PM |
Stay strong Capt. The hardest part (honest) is done...filing. Also a been there done that divorce thing. Now you need to steel yourself against the onslaught of guilt and whatever he thinks he can use on you to get you to change your mind. And he will and by any means.. including the nasty stuff. Deep Breath kiddle. You are ok. Obviously you have given this alot of thought...and for a very...very long time...you've discovered that your freedom of spirit is more important than the hell he has given you. This is where you find out who your true friends are...and they are his and hers...as I am sure you have already found out. HUG. It's ok hun...you will get through this... promise...and you will be a stronger person for it. If you need to talk to another divorced and remarried  female...just shout out. I also think that talking to a therapist may be helpful... Just know you are not alone... ever. Sending hugs and bright light your way... all you need do is reach out and take it if you need it. Bright blessings hun. Love Tazy(akaEmom) |
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Hey hon,
Listen, I'm a child of divorce, and I have to tell you that my parents getting divorced was the best thing that ever happened to me. People say that the kids suffer when parents divorce, but I was glad my parents split up, rather than raise me in an environment where they don't love each other and are unhappy. Trust me, the best lesson you can tech a child is to follow their heart and be happy. I'm sure everything will work out fine, just trust in yourself.
<3 Be strong. |
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