Ethel's Episodes-The Latin Lover

Ethel's washing machine was in need of repair. It had been a week and the service man said that it would be several more weeks before they could get the part they needed to repair it. Ethel was at her wits end. First of all, it had taken several hours for the man to decide what part was needed.Ethel had told him that it was making a bing bing bing sound. Unfortunately, the repairman had not been able to make a diagnoses on the strength of her observation.

After several hours and futile attempts to make the washer repeat the odd noise, he had taken it to his shop. He called back later and said that it needed a new transmission. Ethel replied that it wasn't a car, so how could it need a transmission? At that point Harvey took the phone from her and the repairman explained it to him. Harvey told him to go ahead and repair the machine, and to call when it was finished.

Ethel was stuck. She had no way to do the laundry. So after giving her plight some thought, she decided to take her baskets of clothes to the local laundrymat. Harvey loaded them in the car for her the next morning before he left for work,and Ethel drove away to a day that would live in infamy in her mind for the rest of her life.

She found the laundrymat with no problem, and waddled back and forth bringing the baskets in. After getting change from the woman who ran the place, Ethel put each load in with the required amount of soap and within a few minutes had four machines going. With the task now started, she decided to relax.

She sat down to read a magazine and that's when she noticed a man standing at the end of a folding table staring at her. He was an older Hispanic man with a rather large stomach which his shirt barely concealed and pants that seemed to want to fall off his hips. He was looking at Ethel with an odd gleam in his eye, and Ethel began to feel uneasy.

Ethel tried to immerse herself in the magazine she was reading, but everytime she looked up, there was the man staring at her. Once she caught him licking his lips and she looked away as quickly as possible. What an odd man ,thought Ethel. Why is he looking at me like that? She resumed her reading and tried unsuccessfully to ignore him.

The washers stopped at last and Ethel loaded them into the dryers. As she walked past the folding tables, the man said "Ah, senorita, I could not help noticing your beauty. Such a lovely woman. My heart beats quickly when my eyes behold you."

Ethel looked at him in astonishment. What in the world was this man thinking? Why, I am almost 60!  She hurried to regain her seat and tried as hard as possible not to look at the man again. It was no good though. Everytime she looked up, there he was staring at her hungrily. At last he walked over to where Ethel sat and said. "How I would love to take you to dinner and then to my apartment.You are so soft and round, how I would love to show you my passion for you!" Ethel felt her face redden in embarrassment. She hoped noone else had heard him. She hid her face in her magazine and prayed that her dryers would stop soon!

After what seemed like hours, the machines ground to a halt. Ethel quickly loaded her baskets and placed them on a cart. She was hastily trying to get out the door when he said, "Oh my beautiful one...you are shy. I will take my time with you. You will see how gentle I can be." 

A blizzard of flying underwear and socks left the cart as Ethel flew through the parking lot to her car! She threw the baskets in, started her car and almost backed over her Latin admirer. As she drove away, she heard him exclaim,"Ah...such a woman! I will wait for your return!" When last she saw him, he was waving and blowing kisses in the direction of her departing automobile.

Harvey was surprized when he got home. Ethel had bought a brand new washer and dryer."Ethel, he said "I thought we were just going to get the old one repaired." Ethel looked at Harvey and said,"I will never go back to that laundrymat and don't you ever ask me to go to a Mexican restaurant again!" Harvey smiled and took her statement in stride. How one had anything to do with the other was beyond him but it was typical Ethel logic. Harvey felt it best not to ask her to explain.

copyright2004 Anita Callender

all rights reserved