The Dream

On the beach near where I live
One day you said to me�?write about the ocean this morning
Do you still remember ?
I still go to this beach daily
A distance of thirteen kilometers or lets say approx (eight miles)
And when ever the world begins to close in on me
I will build a sandcastle or collect shells
And then I will... look up
Into your eyes... as blue as the sea
And I will connect with you
And then I get spaced out completely
As it really takes my mind over...
I hear you say "Hello,"
I answer with a nod
Not really in the mood to bother with small talk
Asking me what I was doing
"I'm building," I said.
"I see.
What is it?" You ask�?
"Oh, I don't know, I just like the feel of sand."
"That sounds good," you said
And slipped your shoes off
A seagull glided by
"That's joy,"
"It's a what?"
"It's a joy.
My seagull always�?come here to bring me joy."
The bird went glissading down the beach
"Good-bye joy," I muttered to myself "hello pain,"
I turned away to walk on
I was depressed
My life seemed completely out of balance
"What's your name?"
“Your Dream�?you answered. "I'm your Dream"
"Mine's Tinka... I'm a seagull lover"
"Hi, Tinka seagull lover girl"
I giggled�?
"You're funny," You said
In spite of my gloom
I laughed and walked on�?musical giggle followed me
"Come again you called
"We'll have another happy day."
The days and weeks that followed belong to others
A group of unruly Family members, meetings
The sun was shining bright one morning
As I took my hands out of the dishwater.
"I need a seagull"
I said to myself, gathering up my coat.
The ever-changing balm of the seashore awaited me.
The breeze was chilly, but I strode along�?
Trying so hard to recapture the serenity I needed.
I had forgotten the happy times and was startled when you appeared.
"Hello, Seagull girl"
"Do you want to talk?"
"What do you have on your mind?"
Nothing I said�?with a twinge of annoyance and not in a good mood
"I don't know
"What about ...
I asked sarcastically
"How about charades?"
A laugh burst forth.
"I don't know what that is."
"Then let's just walk."
Looking at you
I noticed the fairness of your face.
"Where do you live?" I asked.
"Over there."
You pointed toward the “summer�?cottage
Strange I thought, in winter.
"Where do you work?"
"I don't work I am a inventor and poet.
Are you on vacation?"
I chattered little girl talk as we strolled up the beach
But my mind was on other things.
When I left for home
You said it had been a happy day
Feeling surprisingly better
I smiled and agreed.
Three weeks later
I rushed to my beach in a state of near panic.
I was in no mood to even greet you
I thought I saw you on the porch
I felt like demanding you to stay at home.
"Look, if you don't mind,"
I said crossly when you caught up with me
"I'd rather be alone today."
I seems unusually pale and out of breath�?
"Why?" you asked
I turned to you and shouted,
"Because my heart died!"
And you said oh! God!
"Oh," you said quietly
"Then this is a bad day."
"Yes, and yesterday and the day before and -- oh, go away!"
"Did it hurt?"
"Did what hurt?"
I was exasperated with you with myself
"When your heart died?"
"Of course it hurt!"
I snapped
Misunderstanding wrapped up in myself
I strode off
And I started to read my diary
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
A month or so after that
When I went to the beach you were not there
Feeling guilty, ashamed and admitting to myself I missed you
I went up to the cottage after my walk and knocked at the door
A drawn looking young woman opened the door.
"Hello," I said. "I'm Tinka
I missed my “Dream�?today and wondered where he was."
"Oh yes, The young woman said; please come in.
Dream talked about you so much.
I'm afraid I allowed him to bother you.
If he was a nuisance, please, accept my apologies."
"Not at all �?he’s a delightful man" I said
Suddenly realizing that I meant it.
"Where is he?"
"Dream died last week, Seagull girl
He was very sick.... and hurt
Maybe he didn't tell you.
" Struck dumb, I groped for a chair.
My breath caught.
"He loved this beach; so when he asked to come
I couldn't say no.
He seemed so much better here
And had a lot of what he called happy days.
But the last few weeks, he declined rapidly..." her voice faltered.
"He left something for you... if only I can find it.
Could you wait a moment while I look?"
I nodded stupidly
My mind searching for something, anything�?
To say to this lovely young woman.
She handed me a smeared envelope,
My name printed in bold uneven letters.
Inside was a drawing in bright crayon hues �?
A yellow beach, a blue sea, and a bird.
Underneath was carefully printed
A Seagull girl brought me joy
Tears welled up in my eyes
And a heart that had almost forgotten to love opened wide.
I took the young woman in my arms.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so-so very sorry,"
I muttered over and over, and we wept together
The precious picture is framed now and hangs in my study.
A few words -- one for happy time of life �?
That speak to me of harmony, courage, undemanding love.
A gift from a man with sea-blue eyes and hair the color of depression
Who taught me the gift of love
But now gone
I love you

Copyright © 2004 Tinka Boukes
All Rights Reserved