Ethel stood uncertainly before the door wishing there was some other way to go about this problem.However, considering the recent events in her life, she knew there was no other way to address it.If only she had just stayed home, she would not be where she found herself tonight. She sighed,turned the knob, and walked in.

The room was crowded with people. She looked to see if there was anybody she knew and was both relieved and sorry that there was no one. Everybody was milling around talking. She spied a large coffee carafe and went over to get a cup. As she reached for a foam cup, a lady walked over and said, “Hello, you’re new here aren’t you?�?Ethel replied that she was and they exchanged names. It seemed the lady’s name was Jan and she had been coming here for 6 months. (Ethel thought “Oh dear, I hope I won’t have to still be here 6 months from now�?)

At last everybody took his or her seats and the meeting was called to order. A few items were discussed and voted on and then the meeting took off. They said a prayer for serenity and then the meeting began in earnest as one by one several people stood up and told their story. Some of the stories were full of hope, and some were full of shame and anger. As many people were new there that night, they asked the new ones to stand up and give their name and why they were there.

Ethel listened intently as the man next to her stood up and said that he had been the successful owner of a car dealership up until four years ago. He had had it all-a beautiful wife, successful business, and 2 wonderful kids. All of which he lost due to his problem. He believed that from what he had heard from some friends that this was the place to come and make a new beginning for himself.

The discussion went on for sometime, with each person standing and giving a brief report of his or her reasons for coming to the meeting. At last it was Ethel’s turn to stand. She stood and said timidly;�?Hello, my name is Ethel and I’m an Alcoholic.

You see on New Year’s Eve, I was visiting my daughter and her husband. They offered me a small glass of wine. I drank it right down and found I wanted another immediately. The more they gave me, the more I wanted and soon I was quite drunk. Then my son-in-law asked me if I wanted to listen to The Best Band in the World who also had another name-Tenacious D. I said “Sure, so he put the CD’s on and soon I was laughing my head off. Now the reason I know that I am an alcoholic is that these Tenacious D young men were saying all kinds of vulgar things and I could not stop laughing. The worse they talked and sang, the funnier it was to me. This is not I�?

To make things even worse, the next day my daughter told me she was embarrassed by me being drunk and that I had laughed like a braying mule! My son-in-law now thinks I am lady who likes raunchy music. It lifted me up in his estimation, but my daughter is shocked. And the next day I found myself wanting some of that wine again and looking for a CD player�?

So what do I need to do to start the 12-step program you are all talking about? I can’t go on like this.�?Ethel looked on in astonishment as the room erupted in pandemonium. Half of the people were laughing hysterically. The other half was certain she was making fun of them! Soon Jan said “Ethel, you better get out of here! Here comes Big Bill and he is not amused!�?“But what did I do?�?asked Ethel. Jan grabbed her arm and hustled her out the door.�?Ethel, you’re all right,�?Jan said with tears of laughter in her eyes.

The next day Big Bill called Ethel and advised her very sternly not to show her face at another AA meeting again-ever! It was the first time in the history of that group that someone had been thrown out! Ethel told the Rabbi of her search for help for her problem and the outcome. Father Jacob said, “Ethel, I will pray for you again. But in the meantime, leave AA alone!

Anita Callender2004

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