If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling
through 36 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food
will swim by, you might live in Ontario.

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96
nights each year because Wawa is the coldest spot in the nation, you
might live in Ontario.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from September through May,
You might live in Ontario.

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for six months out of
the year, you might live in Ontario.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle
of his forehead, you might live in Ontario.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might
live in Ontario.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone
who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Ontario.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE ONTARIAN :
1. "Vacation" means going south past London for the weekend.

2.You measure distance in hours.

3. You know several people who have hit a deer more than once.

4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day....and
back again.

5. You can drive 100 kmph through 2 feet of snow during a raging
blizzard, without flinching.

6. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

7. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are
filled with snow.

8. You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still
winter and road construction.

9. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to
your blue spruce.

10. "Down South" to you means London .

11. Your Canada Day picnic was moved indoors due to frost.

12. You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.

13. You find 0 degrees "a little chilly."

14. You actually understand these jokes.