MSN Home  |  My MSN  |  Hotmail
Sign in to Windows Live ID Web Search:   
go to MSNGroups 
Free Forum Hosting
 
Important Announcement Important Announcement
The MSN Groups service will close in February 2009. You can move your group to Multiply, MSN’s partner for online groups. Learn More
Spirit MusingsContains "mature" content, but not necessarily adult.[email protected] 
  
What's New
  
  Welcome Page  
  ALL BOARDS  
  General  
  Creative Writing  
  Collaborations  
  "Greetings"  
  Humour and Fun  
  Poetry - General  
  Love & Romance  
  Sayings  
  Tanka/Haiku/ etc  
  Touching Stories  
  Phrase Challenge  
  Topics Challenge  
  10Word Challenge  
  "Muse Moments"  
  "Serial Works"  
  "Writers Tools"  
  Links  
  Pictures  
  jazlin's valley  
  the Kids'  
  Wize Azz Pics  
  ViniLee's  
  Sstorms Keep  
  Silvers Creations  
  Mindy  
  Sassy's Stuff  
  Ethel's stuff  
  Nitas  
  Silver's Graphics  
  SiteEditor  
  Tinka  
  WizeMuse  
    
    
  Posting Tips  
  DEVICES  
  FIGURATIVE  
  Apostrophe  
  Chiasmus  
  Hyperbole  
  Metaphors  
  Ballad  
  Couplet  
  Diamonte  
  Level1Metaphor  
  Level4Metaphor  
  Haiku  
  IMAGES  
  Limerick  
  Metonymy  
  PAINTING  
  PATTERNS  
  Level2Metaphor  
  Sestina  
  Simile  
  Sonnet  
  Spenserian Stanza  
  Mood Poem  
  Free Verse  
  I Do Not Understand Poem  
  Synedoche  
  Level3Metaphor  
  Villanelle  
  Zeugma  
  Answer1Metaphors  
  Answer2Metaphors  
  Synecdoche  
  Dale  
  Anita  
  Jazlin  
  Book Order Info  
  DalesSerials  
  CampfireTales  
  Club Calypso  
  MoonArmour  
  BigE  
  AnitasSerials  
  Ethel's Episodes  
  Spirit by Anita  
  Edit1  
  Graphics2  
  Poetry Styles  
  Acrostic  
  Amphigory  
  Blank Verse  
  Cento  
  Clerihew  
  Couplet  
  Diamonte  
  Free Verse  
  Ghazal  
  Haiku  
  Lai  
  Octatri  
  Ovillejos  
  Pensee  
  Quatrain  
  Revaiku  
  Revanka  
  Senryu  
  Sestina  
  Shairi  
  Sonnet  
  Swap Quatrain  
  Tanka  
  Triolet  
  Villanelle  
  The Challenges  
  World Time Clock  
  
  
  Tools  
 
Humour and Fun : Disorder in Court
Choose another message board
 
     
Reply
(1 recommendation so far) Message 1 of 1 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameSassy_Catt  (Original Message)Sent: 5/13/2005 2:45 AM
These are from a book called Disorder in the American Courts, and are
things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now
published by court reporters who had the torment of staying calm while
these exchanges were actually taking place.

Q: Are you sexually active?
A: No, I just lie there.
******************************

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July 15th
Q: What year?
A: Every year.
******************************

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
******************************

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that
you've forgotten?
******************************

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?
A: Forty-five years.
******************************

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up
that morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?
A: My name is Susan.
******************************

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the
occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?
A: Yes, voodoo.
******************************

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he
doesn't know about it until the next morning?
A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
******************************

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
******************************
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
******************************

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
******************************

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
******************************
Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
******************************

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
******************************

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to
a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
******************************

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on
dead people?
A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
******************************

Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
******************************

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I
was doing an autopsy.
******************************

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
******************************

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began
the autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting in a jar on my desk.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law
somewhere.


First  Previous  No Replies  Next  Last