U2 Graffiti Wall

I'm sorry I haven't been in for such a long time...my whole world has pretty much been falling down around my ears. My grama took really sick about a week after Canadian Thanksgiving (late October) and has been sick ever since. The doctors think that the cancer she was diagnosed with last year has spread, but they can't be sure because she's too fragile, and frankly too old for them to do tests. She's been suffering terribly for months. On her birthday in November, we were all sure (including her) that she would die that night....my mum and I were with her for hours, afraid to leave...she said her final goodbyes to us, she was that sure she wasn't going to live through the night. She's still hanging on...she's in bed most of the time, it makes her sick to eat or even so much as drink and because of that she's getting dehydrated...she's been swelling up all over and the nurse told my mum the other night that she thought her kidneys were shutting down, which means it's only a matter of time. My grama told my mum the other night that she had a strange feeling she was going to die that night. The last three days have been hell for my mum and me. I just thank god we have each other to talk to and comfort each other and understand. My mum is with my grama a lot and even though I visit her too, my mum thinks the long hours of basically just sitting there would be too much for me, especially since I've been through this already with my dad and grampa. So it's been very lonely for me...I have a lot of time to think about this, with nobody to talk to. And, as if all that wasn't bad enough, my brother's wife left him for another man in November and a couple weeks later, he found out he has a terminal brain tumor. It's in the part of his brain that controls speach and memory, so if he has it removed, he runs the risk of losing all or part of his memory...but if he doesn't have it removed, he could lose his memory anyway. Great options, huh? He's already starting to forget things which is really scary. He's been acting very strangely, not like himself at all and it's been a real and constant worry. My mum is just beside herself, worrying that at any minute she could lose her mother or her son or both. Anyway, I bet you all didn't expect (or want lol) me to write a novel but I just wanted to explain why I haven't been around. I think about you all and miss you all, I don't ever want you to think that the reason I haven't been in is because I don't love you all, because I do. I've come to think of you all as family. Your prayers would be greatly appreciated at this time, my family definitely needs them. Thank you.

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