Oh me and this guy, both agree, that we met because of my cousin. However that works?? But we both strongly believe this.

 

what is odd is the reason i had spoken to the medium (i didnt know she was a medium until 20 mins into conversation). was because i was asking about my love life. When would things ever get better, and when would i ever meet the right person?

 

When i first started speaking to this person, i thought i wouldnt be interested - yet when we met, he was exactly what i was looking for. He felt the same way about me. Which again is bizarre.

 

We are trying to move on from that, that night we felt like my cousin had tried to fix us up. And laughed about it. Thought that he had made a good choice. (this guy is the same age as me). Since then, we are both entirely confused about the whole thing.

 

I just dont know what it is that he wants? Is it for me to put him in touch with his mum ( i dont want to upset her anymore than she is), or was he fixing me up with this guy? Did he want me to help with the tribute night?

 

I dont really know what it is. Each day i seem to get new answers. Someone please help me find some clarification!

 

Love and light x

Nikki

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

This is the first time i have done this on line Nik but i felt i had to post this message so strong!!!!

 

 

Hi Jo,

 

Well i am sorry that it has taken me so long to reply to your message. I had only read it today I had kept checking but had no replies. You wrote your message to me on the night of Nov 19th.

 

On Nov 20th, this guy came to stay with me in Bristol. On the 23rd of Nov, I took him to meet his parents (my aunt and uncle) they were blown away. It meant a lot to hear about another side of my cousin and that he wasnt just all about the drugs, that there was more to him than that. This guy only went back to Devon a couple of days ago, which is why i hadnt come here to read the post you sent back.

 

After that night, I have to admit i did feel physically sick, and very stressed out, I felt like i had been used emotionally to get this guy to my aunt and uncle, and i felt that wasnt necessary as i would have done that anyway. At the time i felt that my heart had been mangled up - for what? I was so upset by that. I think i am ok about it now.

 

I am still thinking that was the purpose of it. Reading this message confirms it for me. It was merely to introduce him to people, thats what he wanted.

 

YES the cheeky grin!!! haha thats him!! he had such a cheeky grin, the guy had written an email to his dad, just after you sent me this post, and said - about how they first met and his cheeky grin. This is also how i remember him.

 

Funny soul. I guess he is as strong in spirit as he was in life - and got his own way just by his charm.. that he had plenty of. I am pleased that he has got what he wanted. Thank you for taking the time to write me the post. Yes i needed to read it today. As now i can see what makes sense. The whole thing does make sense and that is ok.

 

Love and light and many thanks

 

Nikki xx

 

 

Jo 

 

Nikki

Yeah its funny you know. I work with drugs you see. I had wanted to help him. Things happened and i didnt. When he died. the first thing i said to his parents etc, was please, dont see the drugs, they werent him, try to see who he was.,see past the drugs. As the actions of the drugs, were what killed him. Dont associate his life with that. Its just an action - like an illness. I believed that so much. You have to seperate the actions of the drugs, from who he was.

That was before i met this guy anyway. I guess i had no way of proving it, without meeting this guy.

 

I forwarded your message - the whole thing to his mum., I simply said take what you need, and leave the rest behind. She said that it gives her comfort to know that his spirit is around her.

Funny thing though, must be damn frustrating if you are dead, as he has tried so so hard, so very hard to get through, and to prove that he is still up there. Yet most people dont believe in that kind of stuff. I always have, its the way i am. I talked to a medium this morning, and i had a go at him - (well for me, alive or dead, still the same i guess, just the body thats missing) i said, listen, whatever i would have introduced him to your parents anyway, it had to be the right time. You didnt have to do heeby jeeby magic tricks so that we fell in love first night - well i dont fall in love like that, and neither does he (hes been single by choice for 5 years, although he has a lot of opportunity because of the work he does)

 

he denied that he had done it, said that he just arranged the meeting, and that the rest was fate and that we did the rest. That was just meant to be. I dont believe that really though, and said, well i am annoyed with you, but i still love you very much. But sheesh hes 24 and enthusiastic, what does he know? I guess he thought he was doing the right thing.  I dont think people change much when they are dead, than when they are alive. Just that most people dont have contact thats all so they are shut away. I hope from listening to him, I hope i dont die young, It cant be nice. Watching all your mates having a good time, yet none of them knowning you are there or around.

 

I dunno what it is about me, my grandmother was 90 the other day (sat) and we talk about it, as if we were talking about an episode of Eastenders. I can see that i have done a lot in the last 5 weeks. I am completely and totally exhausted and drained now. Going to take me a while to get back to myself again. The guy is still ignoring me. Well he sent me a text today - which ironically he said i dont believe in all that stuff. Which is funny as he experienced it like i did. I thought - well if you think like that, whats the point of a benefit night for him - if thats what you believe it isnt as if he is going to be there to enjoy it, is it? lol.. he's dead (according to him).

 

Well its certainly been an experience.

Funny thing - i was feeling pretty down. I wrote an email to his mum last night, I said that she will see him around. She might see white feathers, or in a very warm home, might suddenly feel very cold. For no reason, or sometimes get a warm glow when he is giving her a hug.

 

Tonight she called me, she hadnt read the email until tonight. Had watched this film about drugs, on a channel she doesnt normally watch. She said she then went to computer as it was the first time that she had had a chance to to check her emails, was reading my email, and suddenly she felt really really cold. She couldnt believe it and thought how she had picked up two white feathers earlier today.

 

She said she was so surprised she had to call me. After that the room returned to normal temperature. We talked for hours on the phone. About him, and how hes around and we even laughed, as we talked about her giving some of his clothes away, and i said - and laughed, that he wouldnt mind and would say, look at him in my clothes - they dont look as good as they did on me.. and would laugh. We laughed hard at that. It was like he was there again. Again he is current.

 

I had been trying to set up a new service in the area for bereaved parents who have lost children to drugs, his mum is going to meet someone on Thurs, through an agency i had been working with. And there is another mum, and i heard of another the other day - So things - are really happening.

 

Tonight i can go to bed, knowing, that i have done some good work. That feels really good.

A www Bless you Nicki,

 

Its great if you start a support group. Am pleased his mum got comfort from my mail.

Am sorry this guy has gone all strange on you but hey his loss!!!

You are a wonderfull person spend time over christmas on you! enjoy yourself let your haair down.

And in the new year think posative as i feel you have aa long jorney ahead.

its going to be hard work but you will be succesfull i have been told.

Please keep in tuch as i feel we are conected in some way.

Dont worry am not a nutter lol

 

All the best,

Jo.

 hi niki i have your email addy will send you an email am in yahoo so dont delite me lol 

 

All the best jo.xxx