Sam 12:16-23
With all the news of tragedy and death on the news dealing with our military
personal in Iraqi, I felt lead to post something on the grieving process. As we
watch it play out, it becomes more and more evident that tragedy and heartache
are no respector of persons. It has hit families of our female soldiers,
officers and enlisted personel. But all may not deal with grief in the same
way. Why is it that some let grief destroy them and others triumph over it? As
we consider the grief of David concerning the loss of his infant son we can
draw several conclusions about how to deal with our grief.
DON’T HOLD GRIEF INSIDE (verses 16-18). “David pleaded with God for the child.
He fasted and went into his house and spent the nights lying on the ground. The
elders of his household stood beside him to get him up from the ground, but he
refused, and he would not eat any food with them. On the seventh day the child
died. David’s servants were afraid to tell him that the child was dead, for
they thought, "While the child was still living, we spoke to David but he would
not listen to us. How can we tell him the child is dead? He may do something
desperate�? This lesson tells us not to expect everyone to understand your
grief—it is unique to you. Also don’t allow anyone to judge your grief—God
understands and that is enough.
DON’T LET GRIEF FIND A HOME (verses 19-20). David noticed that his servants
were whispering among themselves and he realized the child was dead. "Is the
child dead?" he asked. "Yes," they replied, "he is dead." Then David got up
from the ground. After he had washed, put on lotions and changed his clothes,
he went into the house of the LORD and worshiped. Then he went to his own
house, and at his request they served him food, and he ate". Here we are shown
that we can grieve just so long until it begins to hurt us. We must use our
grief to deal with our loss and then leave it behind. I’ve always said that the
saddest part of death for those left behind is that life goes on without
pausing for even a moment. Maybe that’s good in some ways. David realized that
there came a point at which he had to reconcile himself to the loss and move on
becaue he realized that life continues on.
DON’T LOSE HOPE (verses. 22-23). David answered, "While the child was still
alive, I fasted and wept. I thought, `Who knows? The LORD may be gracious to me
and let the child live.�?But now that he is dead, why should I fast? Can I
bring him back again? I will go to him, but he will not return to me." Here we
note that David’s prayers were not answered, as he wanted. He prayed because
there was a chance. There was a present hope. And as long as hope existed in
the here and now he sought God. However, David knew that this is not all there
is to our existence.
His child had gone straight to paradise. His weeping was not for his child as
much as it was for himself. He wanted the child here with him, but knew that
his absence here would not prevent a future reunion.
One of the many conclusions at which I have arrived is that we need to allow
God to use our grief and pain to help others. God wants us to resist the urge
to hold onto our pain. Instead, He wants us look for someone to help, to
console and to lift out of their pain. In doing so we will be healed of our own
hurt. The Holy Spirit is challenging us today to look beyond ourselves and see
the needs in the lives of others that are grieving. Then again, maybe we are
the ones who are holding onto unshared grief from years gone by. The Lord can
help you to triumph over it today.
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