The Year 2029

* Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia formally known as <st1:place w:st="on"><st1:State w:st="on">California</st1:State></st1:place>.

* Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">United States</st1:place></st1:country-region> crops and livestock.

* Baby conceived naturally . . . scientists stumped.

* Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

* Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the <st1:PlaceName w:st="on">American</st1:PlaceName> <st1:PlaceType w:st="on">Territory</st1:PlaceType> of the Middle East (formerly known as <st1:country-region w:st="on">Iran</st1:country-region>, <st1:country-region w:st="on">Afghanistan</st1:country-region>, <st1:country-region w:st="on">Syria</st1:country-region> and <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Lebanon</st1:place></st1:country-region>).

* <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Iran</st1:place></st1:country-region> still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

* <st1:country-region w:st="on">France</st1:country-region> pleads for global help after being over taken by <st1:country-region w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Jamaica</st1:place></st1:country-region>.

* Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

* George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

* Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

* 85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise are the keys to weight loss.

* Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

* Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

* <st1:State w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Massachusetts</st1:place></st1:State> executes last remaining conservative.

* Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

* Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

* New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

* Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

* IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent..

And last but certainly not the least... (I love it)..

 

* <st1:State w:st="on"><st1:place w:st="on">Florida</st1:place></st1:State> voters still don't know how to use a voting machine