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Humor : Best Headlines of 2005
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From: MSN NicknameMonette922  (Original Message)Sent: 7/24/2005 9:54 PM
 
THE YEAR'S BEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2005:

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[no, really?]




Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[now that's taking things a bit far!]


Panda Mating Fails;
Veterinarian Takes Over

[what a guy!]



Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[no-good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!]


Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[see if that works any better than a fair trial!]



War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]




If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[you think?!]




Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[who would have thought!]




Enfield (London) Couple Slain;
Police Suspect Homicide
[they may be on to something!]



Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]



Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
[he probably IS the battery charge!]




New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[weren't they fat enough?!]




Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]





Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Taste like chicken?]


Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

[Boy, are they tall!]




And the winner is....

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead 
[What a surprise!]
~~~



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