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: Best Headlines of 2005
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Message 1
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From:
Monette922
(Original Message)
Sent: 7/24/2005 9:54 PM
THE YEAR'S BEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2005:
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[no, really?]
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[now that's taking things a bit far!]
Panda Mating Fails;
Veterinarian Takes Over
[what a guy!]
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[no-good-for-nothin' lazy so-and-sos!]
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[see if that works any better than a fair trial!]
War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]
If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[you think?!]
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[who would have thought!]
Enfield (London) Couple Slain;
Police Suspect Homicide
[they may be on to something!]
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
[you mean there's something stronger than duct tape?!]
Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
[he probably
IS
the battery charge!]
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[weren't they fat enough?!]
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
[That's what he gets for eating those beans!]
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Taste like chicken?]
Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]
Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]
And the winner is....
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
[What a surprise!]
~~~
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