Hope this makes you laugh. It did me.
Be sure and cancel your credit cards before you die.
This is so priceless, and so easy to see happening,
customer service being what it is today.
A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her
for February and March for their annual service charges
on her credit card, and then added late fees and
interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been
$0.00, now is somewhere around $60.00.
A family member placed a call to Citibank:
Family Member: "I am calling to tell you that she died in
January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late
fees and charges still apply."
Family Member: "Maybe, you should turn it over to
collections."
Citibank: "Since it is two months past due, it already
has been."
Family Member: So, what will they do when they find
out she is dead?"
Citibank: "Either report her account to the frauds
division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!"
Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"
Citibank: "Excuse me?"
Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you -
the part about her being dead?"
Citibank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."
Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in
January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late
fees and charges still apply."
"Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from
her estate?"
Citibank: (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"
Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer
info given.)
Citibank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Family Member: "Sure." (fax number is given)
After they get the fax:
Citibank: "Our system just isn't setup for death. I
don't know what more I can do to help."
Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great!
If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she
will care."
Citibank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply."
Family Member: "Would you like her new billing
address?"
Citibank: "That might help."
Family Member: "Odessa Memorial Cemetery,
Highway 129, Plot Number 69."
Citibank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"
Family Member: "What do you do with dead people
on your planet?"