My husband is slowly beginning to see the light I think.  My step-daughter is 9.  Its a bad situation all the way around.  Her mother has been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, pathological lying, munchausen by proxy (sp) and god only knows what else.  We got custody of my step-daughter because her mother said she had cancer and was taking her for a bunch of tests.  My husband was never allowed to go to the doctor appointments.  Turns out she didn't have a thing wrong with her.  We made a decision to go for custody (hindsight).  It's been hard to get him to even get her to the doctors, but he told me this morning that he thinks that there is alot more wrong with her than just depression.

 

How do you disipline these children?  Grounding doesn't work.  Neither does spanking, deprevation of toys.  Nothing has ever gotten through to her.

Hi Sandie,

 

Wow, sounds like my son who was fifteen when I got him.  The nice behavior lasted for exactly two weeks and then I saw the light after four months.  His Dad ws diagnosed as a P(psychopath) so his problems were glaring at me.   Wow, she sure sounds very manipulative for a nine year old.

 

My son would go around telling stories to anyone who would listen which was just about everybody.  He almost landed me in jail, so he had to go.  Do you think she is a P?  If so, there is a book called "High Risk" which is a very good book. 

 

Hugs,

 

Honeybee

Hi sandie...pleased to meet you. sorry you are having to deal with all this and the child is so young. My own P was 19 before we finally realised what she is and she no longer lives here.which does make things a bit easier to deal with. I hope you can find the help this kid needs and so find yourself some peace. hugs.

Sandie, You both have a hard road to travel, we had dealt with our daughters illness since she was 8 yeasrs old, she was more sexualized and abusive towards her brother, we never used corpral punishment, we used privelege loss mainly with her, our son was a blessing, she always turned us in for abuse, her story had to better than anyone else's in class, they used to have these classes at school for children to tell on their parents.  I don't know if they still do, but they should be banned.  Our daughter was put in the childrens home for 16 months where they said they can spot a manipulator easy, we told them they don't know a thing about them, we were right, our daughter manilpulated them all just to come home and continue her bad behavior, it wasn't till this experience that it was put in her school letters from counslers that she showed N with sexual preaucuaption,  try to get your little girl in a counsler that knows about her mothers illness and express to them the things that she does, I have been doing a lot of searching into these different types of behaviors, you might also buy the book stop walking on egg shells, by paul mason ,we found this to be very helpful.  You and your husband need to stick together on this or she will get away with almost anything she wants, I thank god for my husbands support, without him I don't think I would have survived.  He is a step parent to my children but he has been there father for over 22 years since I lost my first husband to cancer. Stick together like glue and she can't get over on either one of you, make rules and stick by them.  I am greatful to have found this web site, there is so much info out here for us, use it as well.  God bless you both and may god keep you safe.