Hi goosie.glad you found us......pleased to meet you. I too have a grandson that my P daughter has played backwards and forwards with and now we are not in contact with either her or her son. It has been a heart wrenching year for all of us at home, you need to protect yourself and the baby.get any legal help you can etc..but, the lawyers don't care, they just want money and they get paid if you are successful or not.the child is irrelevant to them.........we took P here through the legal system and  got everything we asked for.cos the whole lot believed me about P..and then she got unsupervised access to her son.even though she never wanted him. she ran with him.in breach of a court order. that was 6 months ago.we have lots of legal options open to us.a whole new story etc.....so now we wait.

 

If they breathe in oxygen, they breathe out lies....or, if the mouth is moving, they are lying..go with your instincts, protect yourself and the baby. hugs. jenny

 

I agree with you also.P here is not capable of loving anything.think this includes herself.think she is full of self loathing and that maybe a major part of her problem. And, if you asked me if I loved my daughter...honestly??.the answer has to be no.....just the thought of being in her company would make me want to run.

Welcome to the boards... while our stories may differ, they are painful nonetheless.  If you have the law backing you up as far as your granddaughter goes, you will not have to suffer the pain and loss that has dogged a number of posters.  Very difficult to detach but when you've given it your best, that's about all you can do.  We can't change another person.  We can only change ourselves.  Best of luck to you.

Hi, this has been the most difficult time of my life. This morning I woke feeling such a sense of loss, of my freedom at 48, loss of being able to pursue my career for which I have worked so hard, loss of choice in so many aspects of my life. I am always exhausted caring for a 2 year old and working 3 days a week. Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't have it any other way, and I love this beautiful little child who gives me joy and makes me laugh. she only has us.

 

I have actually started some annual leave and before all this began, was going to take a well earned week on the Queensland coast with a friend. Of course now my life is a constant round of washing, dishes, toilet training, the odd temper tantrum, and never a moment to myself. no break in Noosa. I think I am grieving. My career was just taking off, and I loved it. Thats on hold now. Our travel plans are on hold.

 

And my son claims that I stole his daughter from him, that I planned this. He has demanded her back, and threatened to send the police, but thankfully the anglicare support services won't support him having her. he is unable to see how this has affected our lives. My partner and I were to be married yesterday, but of course this too had to go on hold because we were too stressed to think about it. He has wrecked my life. For many years.

 

I am sick of being abused and called foud names. I detest his manipulative tactics, and his way of using people to meet his needs (including his daughetr). There are times that I wish he had never been born, I really do. He has not contributed anything positive to this planet, just left a trail of wrecked family.

 

Please understand though that I absolutely love this little girl, and will protect her no matter what. She has blossomed in our care and is no longer the timid little thing she was. The dark circles have gone from under her eyes and she laughs with joy every day.. She loves our home, and the family she has here, and he thinks he can just take her back (so he can get his parenting payments back), and he doesn't consider the effect this would have on her. she would be back here in 2 days anyway because he can't cope. We are grateful that Anglicare have got their heads around his behaviour and his counsellor has told me that she understands our predicament. She has given me a letter stating that he is unable to care for his child at this stage.

 

However, today I mourn my life, my freedom, the ability to make choices for myself, the lost opportunites, time for my relationship.

 

I am normally a positive person, but today feel so miserable. Don't know what to do to make myself feel better. 

 

Goosie

Hi goosie..sorry you are having a bad day..You could have been writing my story .....our lives are very similar at this point. I used to sit at night after I had put the baby to bed.would be so tired I couldn't think straight.would look at the messy toys and clothes and general stuff he had left behind.and wouldn't have the energy to get up off the sofa and move it...would finally get it done and then would do the other things you just can't get done with a toddler under your feet.........then, P here wanted the baby back.he was useful......she needed him he was a delicious tool in so many ways.....we went down the court route, everything I asked for, I was granted...everybody belived me and could see P for what she was..........but, here in UK, no court is ever going to remove a mothers rights......we were granted residence(bit like custody but she retained her rights, baby had to live here but she had access). The court set down dates and times when P could have access to him unsupervised.......even though I told the court she would abscond, they gave me everything they could do.and of course, she ran....in breach of a court order. these Ps don't respect anything, not the law, not anything.certainly not a court order. One thing during all this, P wanted the fight.....loved every minute of it, the eternal victim etc.after she ran, the lawyers said I could have taken the baby back.....by force if neccessary....but all that would have happened is the bbay would have been distraught and it would have all kicked off again......and my legal bills were already enormous.not that that would have matterred.I would have swapped my home gladly to have kept that baby here and safe.......so, now we wait.

how I wish I could be so tired I couldn't get the stuff picked up off the floor again.how I wish I was in a position that I couldn't please myself and go on holiday tomorrow if I felt like it...how I miss those temper tantrums. Enjoy what you can while you can.while you have a quiet moment anyway.

 

We all know how much you feel for your grand daughter.......and at 48, how different your life is just now than you expected it would be......I am 46.........its been a very hard  year. hugs anyway.