Hi stilweeding, my P son is 16. He dropped out of school about 18 months ago. Natually I got all the blame for this. He has lied and stole from every family member, even after I threw him out. I struggled to understand what went wrong and why. But gradually I realised that he had been doing many things that I had been totally unaware of for a long time. I was horrified and devastated that he could do this but also that he had deceived me for a long long time. Most people can not see through him and think he is troubled or that I am lying. He can fool and charm anyone. He is always the victim in whatever trouble he has got himself into--I dont know how he does it. Social workers think he is the angel and me the devil!!! Little do they know. He will say anything to anyone to make him appear a victim and they all fall for it.

I have no idea where he is or how he is but past experience tells me that he is surviving in his own sinister world. It used to kill me not knowing how he was but gradually I accepted that he did not lie awake at night and think about me and wonder how I was or regret all the trouble he had caused as he sees no wrong in what he does or doesnt care. In his world there is only him, he thinks of no-one else or never considers consequences for his actions. The last I heard he was on the run. Its difficult to advise anyone what to do but I can only tell you my experiences and hope it helps you. Life is easier now in some ways and more "normal" but the hurt and pain remain and I try to block it out any way I can. This site is great as people here understand what you feel as they have been there too. They stop you from feeling alone and isolated and from "going mad". I hope you find some answers and some peace. Take care.

zin