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Toons&Jokes : RICH WIDOW LOOKING FOR MAN TO SHARE LIFE
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 Message 1 of 10 in Discussion 
From: JimJim  (Original Message)Sent: 9/26/2003 5:04 PM

RICH WIDOW LOOKING FOR MAN TO SHARE LIFE AND

FORTUNE WITH THE FOLLOWING QUALIFICATIONS:

1. WON'T BEAT ME UP

2. WON'T RUN AWAY

3. HAS TO BE GREAT IN BED

For several months, her phone rang off the hook, her doorbell was ringing constantly, she received tons of mail...all to no avail. None of the men seemed to meet her qualifications.

Then one day the doorbell rang yet again. She opened the door to find a man, with no arms and no legs, lying on the welcome mat. Perplexed, she asked,

"Who are you and what do you want?"

"Hi," said the man "Your search is over, for I am the man of your dreams.

I've got no arms, so I can't beat you up and

I've got no legs, so I can't run away."

The old woman asked,

"What makes you think you're so great in bed ?"

To which he replied, "I rang the doorbell, didn't I ?"



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 Message 2 of 10 in Discussion 
From: JimJimSent: 10/2/2003 8:37 AM

Cuckoo Clock

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the boys". I told my wife that I would be home by midnight ..promise!

Well, the hours passed and the beer was going down way too easy. At around 2:30 a.m., drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.

Quickly, I realized she'd probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself, having a quick-witted solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict.

The next morning my wife asked me what time I got in, and I told her twelve o'clock. She didn't seem disturbed at all. Whew! Got away with that one!

She then told me that we needed a new cuckoo clock. When I asked her why, she said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said "oh crap," cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 3 times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then farted."

                   


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The number of members that recommended this message. 0 recommendations  Message 3 of 10 in Discussion 
Sent: 10/4/2003 7:17 AM
This message has been deleted by the author.

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The number of members that recommended this message. 0 recommendations  Message 4 of 10 in Discussion 
Sent: 10/20/2003 5:55 PM
This message has been deleted by the author.

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 Message 5 of 10 in Discussion 
From: JimJimSent: 4/20/2004 5:08 AM
Coffee

Reply
 Message 6 of 10 in Discussion 
From: JimJimSent: 4/20/2004 5:15 AM
Funny Cartoon - Unfestive Mood

Reply
 Message 7 of 10 in Discussion 
From: JimJimSent: 5/14/2004 5:23 PM
               walktalk-anim1a.gif (7447 bytes)walktalk-anim1a.gif (7447 bytes)walktalk-anim1a.gif (7447 bytes)walktalk-anim1a.gif (7447 bytes)walktalk-anim1a.gif (7447 bytes)
Anger is only one letter short of danger.
If someone betrays you once, it is his fault;
If he betrays you twice, it is your fault.
      walktalk-anim1a.gif (7447 bytes)walktalk-anim1a.gif (7447 bytes)walktalk-anim1a.gif (7447 bytes)walktalk-anim1a.gif (7447 bytes)walktalk-anim1a.gif (7447 bytes) 
Great minds discuss ideas;
Average minds discuss events;
Small minds discuss people.
  walktalk-anim1a.gif (7447 bytes)walktalk-anim1a.gif (7447 bytes)walktalk-anim1a.gif (7447 bytes)walktalk-anim1a.gif (7447 bytes)walktalk-anim1a.gif (7447 bytes)
He, who loses money, loses much;
He, who loses a friend, loses much more;
He, who loses faith, loses all.
 walktalk-anim1a.gif (7447 bytes)walktalk-anim1a.gif (7447 bytes)walktalk-anim1a.gif (7447 bytes)walktalk-anim1a.gif (7447 bytes)walktalk-anim1a.gif (7447 bytes)
Beautiful young people are accidents of nature,
 
Learn from the mistakes of others.
You can't live long enough to make them all yourself.
 walktalk-anim1a.gif (7447 bytes)walktalk-anim1a.gif (7447 bytes)walktalk-anim1a.gif (7447 bytes)walktalk-anim1a.gif (7447 bytes)walktalk-anim1a.gif (7447 bytes)
Friends, you and me ....
You brought another friend ...
And then there were 3 ....
We started our group ....
Our circle of friends ....
There is no beginning or end ....
 walktalk-anim1a.gif (7447 bytes)walktalk-anim1a.gif (7447 bytes)walktalk-anim1a.gif (7447 bytes)walktalk-anim1a.gif (7447 bytes)walktalk-anim1a.gif (7447 bytes)
Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery.
Today is a gift. It's National Friendship Week.
Show your friends how much you care ...
Send this to everyone you consider a FRIEND.
If it comes back to you,
then you'll know you have a circle of friends.
from Ringlady...thanks

Reply
 Message 8 of 10 in Discussion 
From: JimJimSent: 5/16/2007 10:02 AM
              
Many men are buying "black market" Viagra pills
from Mexican mail-order drug stores.

The U.S Food and Drug Administration announced that
several of these pharmacies are mixing the Viagra with
ground up Mexican Jumping Beans
.


The results can be horrible....

Here is what you get when you combine Viagra
with Mexican Jumping Beans.


(scroll down...)

 


Reply
 Message 9 of 10 in Discussion 
From: JimJimSent: 5/24/2007 8:16 AM
  Checking out the ladies !

Reply
 Message 10 of 10 in Discussion 
From: JimJimSent: 7/1/2007 8:22 AM
 
 

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