Male vs.Female  NAMES If Laurie, Linda, Elizabth, and Barbara go out for lunch, they will  call each other Laurie,Linda,Elizabeth, and barbara. If Mark, Chris, Eric, and Tom go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fatboy, Godzilla,Peanut-head ,and Scrappy.  EATING OUT When the bill arrives Mark, chris, Eric, and Tom will each throw in a $20, even though it's only for $32.50.None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.  MONEY A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesnt need, but its on sale.  BATHROOMS A man has 5 items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the marriott. The average number of items in the typical womans bathroom is 337. a  man would not be able to identify most of these items.  ARGUMENTS A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.  FUTURE A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.  SUCCESS A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.  MARRIAGE  ( too true to be considered humerous ) A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesnt. A man marries a woman expecting that she wont change and she does.  DRESSING UP A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.  NATURAL Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.  OFFSPRING--- Ah, children A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist app- ointments, romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.  THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Any married man should forget his mistakes. Theres no use in 2  people remembering the same thing.  AND FINALLY..... A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of  them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, jackasses, and pigs, the wife asked sarcastically " relatives of yours?". "Yep" the husband replied, "In-laws". The fight is on offically on again !!!