Merry Xmoose
© 2007 by Emom
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all hell broke loose
Dah creatures were stirring, especially dah moose.
Dah stockings were hung from his antlers with care
In hopes that quick Nick soon would be there.
The racoons were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of garbage cans danced in thier heads.
And Mamma in her just her kerchief and I in my cap
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap.
When out of my tummy, there arose shuch a clatter,
I sprang from my bed, oh heck, what was dah matter?
Away to the bathroom I flew in a flash,
Tore open the toilet and sat down in a mad dash.
The moon on the crest of the new fallen snow
Gave an eerie illusion to all objects below.
When what do my wondering eyes should appear?
But a miniture sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in an instant..hey...it must be quick Nick.
More rapid than eagles he eclaimed" HOT dang!"
I heard him shout to them, "Shame! Shame! Shame!
Now Dasher! Now Dancer! Now Prancer and Vixen!
Stay off Comet, off Cupid, off Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch, to the top of the wall,
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!
As dry laughter that before the huricanes fly
When yeh meets an obstacle learn to duck and dive!"
So up to the housetop the coursers they flew
And me...well...you know what I had to do.
As I worked I heard up on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I finished my job and was turning around
Down the chimney Quick Nick came abound.
He was dressed all in fur from his head to his foot.
He looked rather spiffy inspite of the soot.
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back
And he looked right at home as he opened his pack.
His eyes- how they twinkled! His dimples- how merry!
I covered myself and his eyes got all teary.
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a cresent moon
And I knew then that this would all end soon.
The stump of his pipe he clenched in his teeth
As clouds of smoke encicled him head to feet.
He had broad shoulders and a big fat belly
That shook and jiggled like a bowl of ambrosia jelly.
He winked at me and with a twist of is head
Soon gave me to know, whew, I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to work
As he filled all the stockings then turned with a jerk.
Dah Moose had awoke and had had such a start
he bellowed and clammered to his feet with a fart.
He stared wide eyed at the jolly old elf who...
Laying a finger to the side of his wrinkled up nose
Gave a hacking cough, and up the chimney he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team he did shout
And away they all flew, out of sheer panic, no doubt.
But I heard him exclaim ere he drove out of sight
"For gosh sakes, next year...cross off the farting Moose!"
Merry XMoose all,,,and to all...a good night!
Loves yehs. Happy seasons all.
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