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Tanka/Haiku/ etc : Tanka Challenge - moved to new board
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(1 recommendation so far) Message 1 of 17 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameSassy_Catt  (Original Message)Sent: 2/26/2005 7:29 PM
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Recommend (1 recommendation so far) Delete    Message 1 of 25 in Discussion 
From: <NOBR>MSN NicknameSassy_Catt</NOBR>  (Original Message) Sent: 1/17/2005 10:55 AM
I thought it might be fun for each of us to try a challenge.
 

TANKA

Tanka challenge! Please compose a tanka using a simile, about either the sky or the sea (or both). It is not as tricky as it sounds. Have a look at the explanations below - and then give it a try!

TANKA

A Tanka is a Japanese verse form consisting of five lines with a syllable count of ( 5, 7, 5, 7, 7 ) or 31 syllables in all.

Imagery is important when constructing a tanka, but it doesn’t need to be as obscure as a haiku. Like a haiku, tankas are nature/season related. Each line of a tanka can stand alone, run on sentence or thoughts are incorrect.

SIMILE

A Simile is a comparison that uses some linking word (like, as, such, how) to make the likeness clear. A simile generally sounds more casual and less emphatic than a metaphor, providing a physical bridge linking two things.

EXAMPLE

Envious ocean,                      5
Like a mirror that reflects      7
Her sister the sky;                  5
But broken and distorted,     7
As she cannot fly so free.     7 

 

 



First  Previous  3-17 of 17  Next  Last 
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(2 recommendations so far) Message 3 of 17 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameSassy_CattSent: 2/26/2005 7:33 PM
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The number of members that recommended this message. 0 recommendations  Message 4 of 25 in Discussion 
From: <NOBR>MSN NicknameRheumaticEthel</NOBR> Sent: 1/19/2005 1:50 PM
deleted message

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From: <NOBR>MSN NicknameRheumaticEthel</NOBR> Sent: 1/19/2005 1:59 PM

  

Titan

 

Supernatural

Titan's sky brillantly glows.

Rivers of methane

Flow downward to meet the sea.

Saturn watches bewitched.

 

Anita Callender2005

all rights reserved

 


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 Message 4 of 17 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameSassy_CattSent: 2/26/2005 7:34 PM
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Recommend Delete    Message 6 of 25 in Discussion 
From: <NOBR>MSN NicknameSassy_Catt</NOBR> Sent: 1/19/2005 3:33 PM
Anita,
 
This is outstanding!!  I love it!
 
I especially like that you took something other than the seas and sky we see here on earth and used these to make your tanka form.  Excellent!
 
Hugssssssssssss
Sassy *S*

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Recommend Delete    Message 7 of 25 in Discussion 
From: <NOBR>MSN NicknameSassy_Catt</NOBR> Sent: 1/19/2005 3:43 PM
forgot to add -
 
I love how you took what we talked about the other day and turned it into this beautiful tanka. It's absolutley fantastic - except for the smell, almost makes me want to visit and see what it looks like *S*
I also love it, when a 5 or 7 syllable word is used for the count on a line - using just the one word, really is the icing on the cake in my opinion! *S*

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(3 recommendations so far) Message 5 of 17 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameSassy_CattSent: 2/26/2005 7:35 PM
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Recommend (2 recommendations so far) Delete    Message 8 of 25 in Discussion 
From: Mindy Sent: 1/20/2005 9:16 PM
Hi Sassy! 
 
This is a fun thread, and I enjoyed your peaceful tanka. 
 
Also yours Nita -- it is out of this world! 
 
Here is my humble and unembellished contribution...
 
 
Ocean
 
Glittering azure
Perpetual, liquid gems
Boldly advancing
Waves of hello bringing gifts
Star fish, clams, seaweed on shore

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Recommend (1 recommendation so far) Delete    Message 9 of 25 in Discussion 
From: <NOBR>MSN NicknameSassy_Catt</NOBR> Sent: 1/20/2005 11:49 PM
Mindy,
 
I'd like to thank you for your comments on mine.  I really appreciate them.
 
Thank you for participating, I loved your Tanka!  I can visualize this so easily. *S*   I know you're not fond of the water, but I think you're becoming fonder than you were! LOL
 
I made you a graphic for your poem, I know it's not quite what you probably had in mind, but you'll see when I post mine - that the pic I used could be for both our poems.  I've been working on it since yesterday, because my pic was originally set in daytime and I've been trying to get it to night time and with a moonbeam.  So I hope you don't mind that I created a different graphic for yours.  I found a pic of a mermaid and seahorse, then created the bubble effect and white bubble border for it.
 
Hugssssssssss
Sassy *S*
 
 

  

Ocean
by Mindy Jan 2005

Glittering azure
Perpetual, liquid gems
Boldly advancing
Waves of hello bringing gifts
Star fish, clams, seaweed on shore

 
PS - Sorry I couldn't make this in pink for you, but as you had AZURE in your poem, I thought blue would be better for this poem. *S*

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(2 recommendations so far) Message 6 of 17 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameSassy_CattSent: 2/26/2005 7:36 PM
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Recommend (2 recommendations so far) Delete    Message 10 of 25 in Discussion 
From: <NOBR>MSN NicknameSassy_Catt</NOBR> Sent: 1/20/2005 11:51 PM
 

Perpetual Tides

S. Cat Sept 19/05

Perpetual tides
Like arms, reach to embrace land
Then retreat and leave
Creatures laid bare on wet sand
Skitter and chase a moonbeam


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 Message 7 of 17 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameSassy_CattSent: 2/26/2005 7:38 PM
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Recommend Delete    Message 11 of 25 in Discussion 
From: <NOBR>MSN NicknameSassy_Catt</NOBR> Sent: 1/20/2005 11:53 PM
I hope more of the members will participate and remember - you can write more than 1 Tanka - there is no limit.
 
So c'mon -  jump in, the water's great! LOL
 
Hugssssssssss
Sassy *S*

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Recommend Delete    Message 12 of 25 in Discussion 
From: <NOBR>MSN NicknameWizeMuse</NOBR> Sent: 1/21/2005 1:21 PM
Sassy-If I could have the next tanka with you
I would be delighted. lol Those are good seriously.
Hugs
Dale

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Recommend Delete    Message 13 of 25 in Discussion 
From: <NOBR>MSN NicknameSassy_Catt</NOBR> Sent: 1/21/2005 5:36 PM
Dale,
 
Your compliments mean a lot - thank you so much.
 
I'm ready to tanka - just say the word! *S*
 
Hugssssssssssss
Sassy *S*

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 Message 8 of 17 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameSassy_CattSent: 2/26/2005 7:39 PM
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Recommend Delete    Message 14 of 25 in Discussion 
From: Mindy Sent: 1/22/2005 1:13 AM
Oh Sassy!  How ultra beautiful you have made my words!  I now wish that I would have implimented "mermaid" into the tanka.  I love the image that you chose!   
 
I also love the one that you wrote in correlation to mine!  You compliment me to the core and humble me even as you enhance and create loveliness. 
 
Thank you so much dear friend. 
 
Love and Hugs,
 
Mindy  :-)

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Recommend Delete    Message 15 of 25 in Discussion 
From: <NOBR>MSN NicknameSassy_Catt</NOBR> Sent: 1/22/2005 1:30 AM
Mindy -
 
If you'd like to write another Tanka - using a mermaid in it, I'll be more than happy to switch this pic to it and find something for your Ocean one.  Just let me know and I'll help in any way that I can! *S*
 
I'm sure I can find something with perhaps a starfish or seaweed on the beach if you'd like.
 
Obviously, you and I were thinking along the same lines when we wrote our poems.  I wrote mine, just after Anita had posted her Titan one, but it took a lot longer for me to get the graphic right! LOL    I again thank you for your kind words on my 2nd Tanka.
 
Hugsssssssssssssssss
Sassy *S*

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Recommend Delete    Message 16 of 25 in Discussion 
From: Mindy Sent: 1/25/2005 10:25 PM
Thanks Sassy!  Who would go to the trouble -- once -- and then offer to do it again?  You are so generous, and I appreciate all that you do to make me look good. 
 
I was thinking about a new tanka, and came to the conclusion that the one that I wrote could be improved upon, instead.  I know that you would not mind creating an entirely new scene for a new tanka (you are just that kind).  However, this will save you from the trouble and also satisfy my acceptance of my own words. 
 
Would it be difficult to change some wording onto the same graphic?  If not, here are my changes.  If so, please do not bother.  The original is very nice as is. 
 
OK, here is the old tanka -- with some revisions...
 
 
OCEAN
 
Glittering azure
Perpetual, dancing gems
Rushing, sashaying
Waves of hello carry gifts
Starfish and mermaids on shore
 
p.s.  That really is something the way that our tankas were so similar.  As they say... two great minds... 
 
Love Ya!
 
Mindy  :-)

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(1 recommendation so far) Message 9 of 17 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameSassy_CattSent: 2/26/2005 7:40 PM
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Recommend Delete    Message 17 of 25 in Discussion 
From: <NOBR>MSN NicknameSassy_Catt</NOBR> Sent: 1/26/2005 7:51 PM
Mindy - This is the original Ocean - redone - hope you like it! *S*
 
Hugsssssssss
Sassy *S*
 
 

Ocean
by Mindy Jan 2005

Glittering azure
Perpetual, liquid gems
Boldly advancing
Waves of hello bringing gifts
Star fish, clams, seaweed on shore


Reply
(1 recommendation so far) Message 10 of 17 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameSassy_CattSent: 2/26/2005 7:40 PM
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Recommend Delete    Message 18 of 25 in Discussion 
From: <NOBR>MSN NicknameSassy_Catt</NOBR> Sent: 1/26/2005 7:52 PM
This is your 2nd one - that you retitled Ocean Treasures - put to the mermaid graphics. *S*
 
Hugsssssssss
Sassy *S*
 

  

Ocean Treasures
by Mindy Jan 2005

Glittering azure
Perpetual, dancing gems
Rushing, sashaying
Waves of hello carry gifts
Starfish and mermaids on shore.


Reply
 Message 11 of 17 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameSassy_CattSent: 2/26/2005 7:41 PM
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Recommend Delete    Message 19 of 25 in Discussion 
From: Mindy Sent: 2/4/2005 9:12 PM
Please Forgive Me Sassy,
 
I saw this soon after you made it, and was absolutely blown away by the enhancement of hues, fonts and graphics that your incredibly talented self designed for my tankas.  I "thought" that I commented and thanked you at the time -- but I see that I did not.    I am so sorry!  There are so many interruptions here at times, that sometimes I must go quickly and forget where I was when I am back online.  Even though I must appear to be ungrateful, I truly do appreciate everything that you have done. 
 
From my heart... Thank you so much for always being so supportive and helpful, Sassy. 
 
HUUUGGGSSS!!!
 
Mindy  :-)

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Recommend Delete    Message 20 of 25 in Discussion 
From: <NOBR>MSN NicknameSassy_Catt</NOBR> Sent: 2/4/2005 10:07 PM
Mindy,
 
You are very welcome and I know you have many things going on and can't always get on here.   We miss you, but we do understand that too! *S*  So don't you dare think, that I was upset that you didn't comment to this.  I know you're appreciative and I was more than happy to make them for you! *S*
 
Hugsssssssssssss
Sassy
 
PS - Cookie, we really do need to get together with Anita and go chipndaling! hahahahah


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 Message 12 of 17 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameSassy_CattSent: 2/26/2005 7:44 PM
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The number of members that recommended this message. 0 recommendations  Message 21 of 25 in Discussion 
From: <NOBR>MSN NicknameSassy_Catt</NOBR> Sent: 2/7/2005 3:20 AM
deleted message

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Recommend Delete    Message 22 of 25 in Discussion 
From: <NOBR>MSN NicknameSassy_Catt</NOBR> Sent: 2/7/2005 3:35 AM
   

Darkness
S. Cat Feb 06/05

Skys refractions reach

Plunge 'neath ocean layers deep

Lights dispersion ends.

Creatures unseen swim the depths

Eons pass, darkness remains.



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(1 recommendation so far) Message 13 of 17 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameSassy_CattSent: 2/26/2005 7:45 PM

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Recommend Delete    Message 23 of 25 in Discussion 
From: <NOBR>MSN NicknameSassy_Catt</NOBR> Sent: 2/26/2005 11:59 AM
 

Lake Sky
S.Cat Feb 18/05

Ripples kiss the shore
Lake and sky merge in darkness
Falling star plunges
Immersed in inky blackness
Moon glitters in the dark depths.


Without the simile aspect. *S*


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 Message 14 of 17 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameSassy_CattSent: 2/26/2005 7:46 PM
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Recommend Delete    Message 24 of 25 in Discussion 
From: <NOBR>MSN NicknameWizeMuse</NOBR> Sent: 2/26/2005 1:42 PM
Lake Sky is very good and also I like Mindys
what was the name Ocean something very good
too. So you guys have the tankas down pat eh?
lol Well...you know me I might take a shot.
Hugs
Dale

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Recommend Delete    Message 25 of 25 in Discussion 
From: <NOBR>MSN NicknameSassy_Catt</NOBR> Sent: 2/26/2005 2:26 PM
Thanks Dale! *S*      Glad you enjoyed it and we'd love to see you write a tanka or two or even MANY!
 
I hope some other members will also give this thread a shot and post some.  We'd love to see some from you!
 
Hugsssssss
Sassy *S*
 
PS - I spoke with Dale and will be creating a Tanka/Haiku/Senryu message board and moving all of those poems including this thread over to it!


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 Message 15 of 17 in Discussion 
From: AnitaSent: 2/27/2005 6:25 PM
I don't know how I missed these latest tankas by you Sassy, but they are just outstanding!!Beautiful.
Anita

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 Message 16 of 17 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameSassy_CattSent: 2/27/2005 6:48 PM
Ah thanks Anita - I'm glad you enjoyed them! *S*
 
Hugsssssssss
Sassy *S*

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 Message 17 of 17 in Discussion 
From: MindySent: 2/27/2005 8:33 PM
I agree wholeheartedly -- Lake Sky flows so nicely as well as presenting imagery that is vivid and awe inspiring.  Stars, plunging into the dark depths of the ocean -- how fluid and lovely.
 
Great work Sassy!  
 
Hugs!
 
Mindy  :-)

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