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Friday Challenge : For Grace
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 Message 1 of 9 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nicknamekayano8  (Original Message)Sent: 12/14/2008 9:56 PM

Well, took the first poem that I wrote on here and have updated it ...

 

 

Though our eyes speak of heart break <o:p></o:p>

we smile tears of hope <o:p></o:p>

as Grace passes by <o:p></o:p>

wonder whos debt she's paying <o:p></o:p>

surely not her own <o:p></o:p>

on this stage we are spectators <o:p></o:p>

can play no part <o:p></o:p>

however much we care <o:p></o:p>

however much we cry <o:p></o:p>

for Grace has the lead role <o:p></o:p>

so if the pathway is dark <o:p></o:p>

we light her way with usual things <o:p></o:p>

laughter.......talk of times past

let Grace be <o:p></o:p>

just for a while <o:p></o:p>

still giving hugs in the morning <o:p></o:p>

neck massages at noon <o:p></o:p>

loving kisses at hometime <o:p></o:p>

it's us ...who are graced <o:p></o:p>

by her touch

-----------------------------

It seems such an age

since I spoke of you

of the things you achieve

the way you make do,

with whatever this life

seems to throw in your way,

you're never unhappy

your love blows me away.

And you're name? Well

it's you, just to a tee

You're bright and so loving

and your smiles are for free.

Disabled with cancer?

Oh I don't think so m'dear.

I know plenty who live

tainted by fear.

I'm grateful each day

when each of us meet

for my days would be dull

without you there to greet. 

You know Grace my friend?

Well..she's the one with the eyes

that sparkle with love

that's hard to disguise.

If by chance you are lucky

as I was for sure.

You'll know your own Grace,

know it's for real.

And also you'll know

just how I feel.

----

Still alive and kicking Christmas 2008



First  Previous  2-9 of 9  Next  Last 
Reply
 Message 2 of 9 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknamejennypollSent: 12/14/2008 10:32 PM
I was very touched by this ...the original and the re-write ....

Reply
 Message 3 of 9 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknamebunnsosoftSent: 12/15/2008 8:49 PM
This is lovely, filled with depth and meaning...gorgeous play of words for faith and hope...and "Grace"
 
Mariaxx

Reply
 Message 4 of 9 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nicknamephilip113Sent: 12/16/2008 8:28 AM
Your mum,K? Nevertheless,an exceptional lady,who has touched many lives,including your readers'. For me,your transition from free verse into rhyme represents the triumph of faith,hope and charity over vulnerability.

Reply
 Message 5 of 9 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nicknamekayano8Sent: 12/16/2008 9:05 PM
thanks ladies for reading  no phillip a lady with whom I work on the original in my collection   it explains Grace there...thanks for reading x

Reply
 Message 6 of 9 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameZydhaSent: 12/16/2008 11:15 PM
Two superb writes, Stella, the first in free verse is surprisingly less relaxed than the rhymed updated version, it's usually the other way around, but I enjoyed both very much, the second just marginly more...maybe because you are more comfortable with your wordskill so far on.
 
This is exactly what I had in mind, Stella, thanks, Zy x 

Reply
 Message 7 of 9 in Discussion 
From: MSN NicknameMerlin--_--_Sent: 12/17/2008 1:45 AM
I found this very uplifting, Kayo. I think everyone should know someone like this. I like your free verse, but loved your rhyme.
 
Gordon

Reply
 Message 8 of 9 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nicknamekayano8Sent: 12/17/2008 5:36 PM
Funny that Zy coz  I just sat here and thought ok so what is happening with her now   straight onto the challenge page no real searching needed   mind she is very special...thanks Zy xx

Reply
 Message 9 of 9 in Discussion 
From: MSN Nicknamekayano8Sent: 12/17/2008 5:38 PM
Gordon   thanks for that   yes   I am very lucky to work where I do     Been to the British Legion this afternoon for the buffet and disco    I am WMCA'd out!!  gonna soak these poor old feet!!  xx

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