Are you going to the car boot with your stall
Will you sell pirate DVDs  and fool them all
Does he hope there are no police here
If there are just run away
Sell the rest down the pub later in the day

 

So here it is Merry Christmas
Everybody’s buying one
Look over your shoulder now
It’s the cops you’d better run

 

Was it filmed upon a screen not quite as wide
When you open it there is no disc inside
Shot on a rubbish camcorder
You got fooled like all the rest
Even your forty two inch plasma ain’t the best

 

So here it is Merry Christmas
Everybody’s getting done
Look over your shoulder now
It’s the cops you’d better run

 

Are you going to the car boot with your stall
Get the latest blockbusters I have them all
Thought it was ok it seems he lied
Though the picture seems to fade
If I see that bloke again he will be slayed

 

So if you want a Merry Christmas
Don’t bother buying one
Watch Dr Who instead
6pm on BBC One