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She sits and whiles away time  lost in a world  where time is forever still. The smell of freshly cut grass,  heavens scent  for her nose only  and here she will stay  until he arrives  and her world starts  to rotate again. She lies, full stretched, her face to the sky  and her arms open  to receive  the moon on her lap  and by sense  she knows that he is on his way. She sits up, pressing her knees  to her chest.  He doesn’t hurry, he never does.  Life is a casual walk to him  but that is why she loves him. Still, in this time of waiting  she can watch as the gentle breeze  ruffles the hair on his head, watch him pause and pick  a wildflower to give to her  and when he arrives at her side  the birds will begin their song,  for nature, waits as well.  You cannot begin life  until the loving has begun  and when he is next to her  she will look up at him,  stretch out one hand  for him to pull her to her feet  and then she will be in his arms  pressed up so close to him  they don’t even need to kiss.  Because now he is here  the world is kissing them  and although she may not  rule the world  she is damn well  sitting on top of it. 
  ©EMG04   |  
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Thanks Mikhail,     glad the last two lines work for you - for me they were an essential part of the poem.     Sorry if damn offends you David - although I am surprised as a self claimed athiest that you find the word objectionable - personally I find the cruder swear words more repugnant.     Emma     BTW  all discussion on this thread is now closed or the whole poem and replies will be deleted     |  
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Emma - Please read what I said? I did not say the word `damn' offended me! I  suggested to you, merely as a bit of a feedback on the poem, that the word  sounded out of place in the context of the poem and that the ending might be  improved by a bit of revision - please do not put words into my mouth. When Mikhail suggested that the word was harmless I pointed out to him the  original  meaning of the word and which  explains its origin as  an  expletive. I do not think that censoring poems and threads is really in the spirit of  this or other any  site. I think it is a pity that you get so upset if a  poem of yours is critiqued, however sympathetically, or it it starts a  debate among readers. However I will not kow tow to ultimatums. You post the poem - people say how it was for them - if you think they have  a point you can modify if you wish.
  Best Wishes
  David 
 
 
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David - this is not about critique - I took your original comments on the poem in good faith and accepted your point of view.     This has now degenerated into a thread about the use of a certain word - it has absolutely nothing to do with the poem on any level of critique.     I am not censoring any poetry - but I have told you before that I do not wish for my work to be used as a level of debate and argument.     If you want to start a debate - I believe there is a page specifically for this purpose.     Emma     |  
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Hi Emma,     Perhaps slightly cheeky, but we get to the end wanting to know what happens. It's an interesting read, and I think the pacing is superb.     Katy  |  
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Thanks Katy,     a bit cheeky lol - I wrote this for a challenge on the beeb a while ago - so thought I would give it an airing on this site as I'm not writing too much at the moment.  Glad you liked     Emma  |  
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   |  |  From:   Zydha | Sent: 10/30/2005 12:29 AM |   
I so enjoyed this read, Emma, it is a little longer than many of yours and for that I am grateful, as it gave me time to loose myself in her moments in time, such gloriously contented moments that your last two lines simply made me smile and want to shout out 'Yes!'     Happiness and contentment, in a nutshell of perfectly chosen words, Zy  |  
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Thanks Zy,     I'm glad you caught the signficance of those last lines - because for me that was what the whole poem was leading up to.  That moment of just sheer happiness.     Emma  |  
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Enjoyed the sense of the instinctive in this, uncluttered with thought.
  Pip |  
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Thanks Pip     Glad you liked this - a sort of breezy poem for me just wanting to enjoy a moment     Emma  |  
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| This message has been deleted due to termination of membership. |  
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'sort of breezy poem for me just wanting to enjoy a moment'
  love the motivation Emma  |  
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FRONT PAGE FRONT PAGE FRONT PAGE !
  : )lb |  
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Thanks Peter,     I liked writing this poem - I don't know, it was just a happy feeling, I'm so glad you liked     Emma  |  
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Thanks Pip,     I just like to write how I feel sometimes     Emma  |  
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my dear lb - I think it must surely be your turn     Emma  |  
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