Egads! You've gone and called me James!
This is the very worst of names!
You hate me Mom! You want me dead!
I hope someone chops off your head!
Well I'll surprise you! I will live
In spite of crummy names you give!
I won't end up like all the rest
Because you flunked the Mommy test!
When you are dead, I will survive
And rest assured I'm gonna thrive!
I'll be th king! It ain't a dream,
And PROTESTANTS will be supreme!
I won't end up like James the first
Cuz Graham thought he was the worst,
and I won't be like number two
Who bit it when the cannon blew!
I feel so bad for Jimmy Three
Who got killed by his family tree!
I swear I won't end up like him
MY son will be called Chuck, not Jim!
And I'm not gonna go to war
And end up dead like number four!
He married Margaret, I'll take Anne
And just for luck, I'll try a man!
My Grandpa James was number five
A coward when he was alive!
He lost a battle, then he cried
And hit his head and then he died.
In spite of such a dreadful name,
I am not gonna die in shame!
I'll keep my head and you will not
Because you can't resist a plot!