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Again I find myself turning to my friends in this group! I am so so so sick and tired of fighting the fight! being a good preson helping those in need, just to be shit on from a great height!!!!! For those of you that don't know, I had my niece and her BF and baby living with us from oct last year until july this year! they turned our lives upside down, used me as a slave! ( my own fault!) used my home as a hotel! and a variety of other things! then asked me because they were getting nowhere with the council to make them homeless so they could get a council place! which against better judgement in the end I agreed! I got riled at the way they left etc and all the trouble they had caused! they were not caring for the baby as they should have done and were doing things that would cause her serious harm! due to stupidity!!! tried to advise them along with a number of other ppl, but they thought they knew best! 2 weeks after making them homeless, I get a knock on my door!!!!!!!!!! It was social services! they had been told that my 2 boys were subjected to violent rages on a daily bases, I was battering them! I was an alcoholic that was drinking all day every day! that I was on anti depressants, under a CPN, I was in financial difficulty which was cause pressure that was cauing me to beat my kids!!! and a load of other stuff that the lady from SS decided wasn't even worth mentioning after talking to my and me oldest son!!!!! I am on AD's and under a CPN but have been for 8 years + I only drink on social social occasions!!!!! I am not in debt and certainly do not batter my kids or are they submitted to violent attacks or rages!!!!! FFS I feel guilty if all else fails and I smack my kids on the backside"!!!!!!! Very very rare thing that happens!!!!!!!!!! that i can count on one hand!!!!!!!!! So this week I went for an interview, which I though was all routine about my incapcity benefit as I have just been signed off for another 12 months my the socials doctors!! no this interview was the benefits fraud agency!!!! the same time a call was made SS they same person had called them and made up a bunch of lies again about me to them!!!! So again I had to justify myself to them and my life etc!!!!! Thses calls were made as I say 2 weeks after my niece her BF and kid left!!!!! Now i am expected tro just drop it!!! no way could they have done according to family!!!!!!! These alligations could have cause so so so much trouble had they have been true and had these people had of taken them seriously!!!!!!! I am gob smacked shocked an angry!!!!!! I am 99.9% sure that the 2 of them are responsible and do not now know what to do!!!! SS are looking into tracing where the call was being made from!!! I want them sued! if they find out where it was made from etc for liable!!!!!!!! this is serious! having someone come into your home in front of your kids accusing you of abusing them!!!!! and them thinking that someone is going to come and take them away for no reason !!!!! I am sick to the stomach and really do not know how to deal with it, coming from a background of being sexually abused! I can be accused of being over protective of my kids!!! but to be accused of battering them and subjecting them to violence and physical abuse is so hard to comprehend!!!!!! any advice ?????????????????????????? |
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Hello Heaven Leigh, Sorry you have had trouble again with Your Neice and her Boyfriend, but, After reading all your messages here and reading the great answers to your questions, I quote > .I have to admit that since writing the post I have told the 2 of them I don't want them in my life anymore and I have washed my hands of them. " Make sure you stick to this decision " I should have been a bit more clearer in my post, the advice I was asking for is what would you do now in my shoes?? When they are both claiming fraudulently, their child is neglected, passed from pillar to post, with differnt people, she is spending 5 days a week with an alcoholic grandad, they are working cash in hand but claiming benefits, their child is under nourished behind in development and even the GP and health visitor are concerned! Do I report them??? would it seem like sour grapes?? I do have a general concern for their child............... would it been seem as something else? should I let it go I just don't know As you say The GP and Health Visitor are concerned, so, If any reporting is done, they then should be doing it ,not you Lovey. My only other advice is please "Pray" and ask God to put them on the pathway they should be on for, They truly are very unhappy people.,then Get on with your own life Leigh, as you have said you have had to prove to certain authorities that there was lies aimed at you,and so you have now hopefully convinced them of this, Love and Light Whitecloud.x.x |
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thank you J and thank you whitecloud, both sound advice from both of you, letting go and not taking it as my problem anymore is the best thing I can do. I will pray they can sort themselves out if only for the little one if nothing else. Staying away and keeping away and no longer being involved with them is the best thing for me and my family, I just hope they can extend the same morals! Very very sound advice from everyone and thank you. Heaven   |
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Sending You Love and Healing at this trying time. |
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Awww my dear friend Leigh. I can totaly understand wot you are going through. I have just been through somthing quite the same. First DONT blame yourself. I am also on incompacity and have been for 9 years also under a counciler. When my ex left myself and daughter things turned nasty and his family got the social services involved telling them all sorts of lies. Like you i was accused of fraud and i was neglecting my child. luckly my counciler was able to verafiy that i was incable of working also my child was happy and well looked after. If i was you go back yourself up go to your G.p and ask them to put in writing the reason you have been singned of for anoughther year. Also as you will not have to pay get yourself a solicitor (family) Because if things do turn nasty at least it is shown that you are ready to fight your corner.... Also i have known you for quite a while now and the ppl who have accused you should be shamed for there actions as i know you are the first person to help any one in need. I do not mean to disrespect any one who has avised you here just i have been through this and yes i agree try to let it go just back yourself up. Also if bye some mirical it wasnt who you think thatt has reported you. Please darling for the sake of there poor child bring it to light that there child is been neglected and underdeveloped because i know you leaigh with think alike lol if somthing terable did happen to the child you would self blame as i would it would not be tit for tat but for the safty of a child that deserves better. Bless you i hope this helps please feel free to email me should you need any more details. Jo.xxxx |
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| | | From: LETTI | Sent: 9/21/2007 6:15 PM |
Hunny, the authority´s should be able to tell whom made the calls, it cann´t be that much diferent from spain????????? Hunny hold your head up high be proud of yourself you are doing really well, and let the others do their work. love Letti xxx |
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hi heaven leigh.I do sympathise with you with the arseoles that enter your life. sorry for swearing LIGHTLY. i must say to you please do not entertain anybody else into your family home, welcome visitors and thats it off they go, when visits over.you must put all your efforts into your own family life, for you are wasting a lot of time and energy on people that do not deserve help from you.we must also remember that people do bring situations upon themselves by doing the wrong things, in their lives, and its all about live and learn, you cannot help people who do not live and learn, they just bring you down bigtime, we cannot save all, just a few.It took me a long time to true my inner voice (instincts) i beleive i truly acted upon this around the age of 38. After this i found things got a lot better and the unsavoury people in the world did not cross my path.we must learn to listen to our inner selfs it is our protection.i am also a great beleiver it is tried and tested in my world, i send problem people away spiritually that i know are going to cause me some sort of damage or inconvenience, and it works for me.i feel i am waffling on a bit now so i will finish. take care and good luck linda |
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thank you all so much for your kind replies, All your advice has helped me greatly, and I am getting back on track. I have cut contact with them and intend to keep it that way and will be very cautious in the future of who I give my time to. My main priority is my family, my kids. Thank you again L&L Heaven |
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God Bless you Heaven So Pleased you hve sorted things out Love and Light Whitecloud.x.x. |
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Thank you, my mum is taking me away for week in nov, my dad can't have the time off work, and she said after what's gone on in the last 12 months I need a break! She booked it today as i am getting my cd's put into mp3's through my PC and loading them up on my MP3 player to take with me, also some books I have been trying to get around to reading!! I feel so guilty for leaving the kids at home and my OH, but even he has said i need and deserve the break. My cousin has said it might actually make the kids and my OH appreciate everything that I do for them all the time, cause with not being here they are going ot have to do it themselves! so she said it will be a good learning curve for the 3 of them!! I am hoping to sort of work through it in my head and come back leaving it all behind as I walk out of the hotel to come home, feel all new and refreshed and really to take on the world and live my life my way! Thank you again to everyone |
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Hello Heaven, A vacation is just what you need, hun. You really do have to take care of yourself, first and foremost. I agree with the others here who are telling you to let go of these problem people who have disrupted your life badly. Let them go permanently, hun. You have been an angel throughout all of this with them and they repaid you with big problems which you did not deserve. Let them take care of themselves from now on, hun and you concentrate on being good to you. |
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Praying for you love and light Linda xx |
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Thank you the much needed break I went on, to be fait by the time arrived home 2 days of being back i felt like I had never been away, my husband and children had a made their points! that they were unimpressed thats i had been away! which eventually turned into my telling them, it was their problem to deal with!!! the house had turned into world wor 1,2,3,4,5&6 i think! but I got on with it cleaned it sorted it and would not let them drag me down! first time in 13 years have I ever left my hubby or my kids! as a very wise friend said, thats nothing compaired to what you do for them to leave them for 1 week!!!! NEW YEAR, NEW Start !!!! NEW ME !!!!!! thank you to everyone here for your kind words and support, it was much needed and much appreciated, and thank you to each and everyone of you. This year is going to be a NEW YEAR for me, it is going to be a better year than 2007. I hope it will be for everyone else love and light to you all and blessings. Heaven-Leigh xx |
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Thanks Whitecloud That is one of my daily affirmations funny enough! lol L&L Heaven |
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