Spiritual Burnout,
by Cerridwen Iris Shea

Burnout is a condition of physical and emotional exhaustion as a
result of repeated and long-term exposure to high levels of stress.
It happens when one overzealously engages in an activity to an extent
where, on physical, psychological, and emotional levels, one can no
longer adequately function. It is a result of imbalance. A person who
is "burned out" has used up all resources and often suffers from
depression, anxiety, short temper, lethargy, mood swings, loss or
increase of appetite, loss of interest in sex, and inability to
interact well with others.

Add the spiritual factor to burnout, and there's really big trouble.
The spiritual level encompasses one's personal connection to the
divine, and one's way to make sense of how each individual's web of
life interweaves with the lives all around us. Spiritual burnout
magnifies all the symptoms of burnout. The loss of connection to the
divine spirit can send a person into a destructive spiral. It is
especially forceful if the burnout was caused by an overload of
spiritual activity.

Spiritual burnout can cause feelings that divinity is not listening,
not appreciating all the work being done, and ultimately, can cause
anger and/or depression. Why honor a divine spirit that doesn't give
a damn? Does that mean divinity doesn't exist?

When people are devoted to a cuase, activity, or belief, they tend to
throw themselves into it to the exclusion of everything else. When
the devotion isn't returned in the same fashion, then resentment,
anger, and depression often result. Sometimes, the person burning out
will intensify his or her efforts, and this becomes a destructive
spiral. What can we do?

Everyone needs a break once in a while. Academics have sabbaticals, a
practice I wish would be common throughout all professions. Taking
a "time out" occasionally is important. It allows one to reassess
goals, desires, and affirmations. It also allows time to reflect on
the past, to find where the patterns are, how those patterns fit
together, and which ones need to change.

Books on magical study emphasize the need to work every day. This is
a fact. In order to truly live a magical life, one must work each day
to integrate spiritual beliefs into daily living. However, that does
not mean that one can never, ever, take a break, or that taking a
break will force one to start over again at Wiccan Square One.

The most common types of spiritual burnout that I have witnessed
among magical people are as follows: the overzealous student, the
overworked high priest or priestess, and the person who has tragedy
occur and feels unsupported.

The Student

When you start down a new path, you want everything, now. You want to
have a complete set of beautiful, charged, fully-operational tools,
now. You want to be adept at a hundred spells with a hundred percent
success rate, now. The truth of the matter is that it takes time. If
you do not master the basics, you cannot master the higher levels of
skill. There is no substitute for hard work, study, and experience.
There is also no substitute for mistakes. Threw a spell and it
bounced back? Why? Couldn't be bothered to learn how to cast a spell
porperly? Well, what did you expect?

When you make a mistake, take the time to trace back the ritual.
Break down the elements and see what didn't work. It could be
carelessness, it could be unfocused intent, it could be you were
misleading yourself. Re-work the spell over and over until you get it
right, but don't feel you have to do it all in one day. Spread it out
over a period of weeks or months. It's like coming up with a new
recipe in cooking. You've got to test it.

Read as much as you can, talk to people, and correspond with people.
Take a class. Maybe you need a new teacher.

Keep your studies balanced with your mundane life. Remember,
eventually you won't be leading two separate lives. They will be
integrated. Enjoy time with non-magical friends and family. We live
in a magnificent, diverse world. Take advantage of it.

The High Preist/Priestess

If you're leading a group, it's terribly easy to fall into martyr
syndrom. I've done it myself a few times. I've watched several high
preistesses around me do it, and crash and burn. Yes, teaching is an
enormous responsibility. These people have put thier trust in you,
but they are also still responsible for themselves.

The best way of working that I've found is to allow students,
coveners, etc. to participate in all aspects of the ritual. Let them
help plan. Let them take on specific tasks such as calling the
directions, consecrating the elements, and walking the elements
around the circle. Teach them and let them do. Have the feast after
the ritual be a potluck. If you're having an open circle, tell
everyone who's invited waht to bring. Most people are honored by an
invitation to ritual and they are delighted to bring a covered dish.
It makes them part of things.

The most important thing is: if you are feeling overworked and under-
appreciated, communicate. Don't accuse your students or coveners of
being ungrateful. Simply state what you are feeling, without
judgement toward them, and ask for help. I think you'll be surprised
at how quickly they will rally around you. If certain members
continue irresponsible behavior, consider asking them to leave. There
is nothing wrong with following different paths.

A Person Dealing With Tragedy

Terrible things happen to good people. It doesn't mean that you've
done something to deserve it, or you're being paid back for something
you've done in a past life, or that God hates you. I don't have a pat
answer for every situation, and I know that saying "there's a reason
for everything in the web of the universe" is no comfort.

The most important thing to remember is that you are not alone, be it
on the spiritual plane or the physical . There are counselors,
clinics, support groups, the Interent - whatever you're going
through, if you reach out, you will be able to find someone to help.

Find places that make you feel calm and comforted. If you can't
create a section of your home that is a sanctuary, find someplace
close by where you can retreat. Depending on what sort of sanctuary I
need, I have several different places in New York where I go: a
favorite coffee shop, a corner of a book store, the Cathedral of St.
John the Divine (yes, a church), and Central Park. These are places I
can get my bearings, hear divinity speak, and feel safe while trying
to make sense of the world. Once you get grounded and centered and
start to get things in perspective, you can consider active options
to change what you need to change.

Ego

In every instance, stop and take a long, hard look at yourself and
how you are behaving in the world. Where is your ego involved in an
unhealthy way? What are you trying to prove and to whom by trying to
be the ultimate magical person? Why do you think the entire universe
needs to be concnerned with you right now?

There is an enormous difference between healthy self-esteem and ego.
Ego often hides under a martyr syndrome or goodness syndrome. Ego
also hides within insecurity, Separate out where your ego is causing
you more pain and more burnout. It might be painful, but, in the long
run, it will serve you well. Take a look at what motivates your
actions and what responses you need to change.

Taking a Time Out

There are times when you simply need to take a time out from
everything, no mattter what. You may feel that you want to rethink
how you relate to divinity, or you may want to commune with divinity
once a week instead of on a daily basis. There is nothing wrong with
that, as long as it is done in an honorable fashion.

Time outs can be ritually begun and ritually ended. First of all,
figure out what you want your time out period to be. If you belong to
a working group, ask for a leave of absence or ask to be cut out
completely from the group if you're fairly sure you won't come back.
Don't just stop attending events and abdicate or ignore your
responsibilities. Especially once you've been inititated, this is a
breaking of your oath, and there are consequences. You need to leave
in an atmosphere of love and trust.

If you are part of a group, participate in a leaving ritual. Whether
you are on your own (solitary) or working with a group, do your own
ritual, even if it's just lighting a candle and explaining to
divinity that you need to take a break.

While you're on your break, do things you enjoy. Do things that
you've denied yourself, as long as they don't hurt you or anyone
else. Most of all, listen. Divinity has unusual ways of
communicating, and you may receive the answer you seek when you work
to enhance your rest and appreciate everything around you. It doesn't
need to be burning bush to have a message.