Life really is about the journey. I've had the recent experience of looking back at the places I've been, or the people I have met and somehow weigh them in the who I am today. Its every step we take that leads us to Now ... even when we refuse to chose, it still marks us - makes us who we are. I've been thinking about my evolution and am determined to continue in the same vein I have over the last 2 years or so ... and I find myself coming back to where it started. Not sure what I'm looking for or even why ... I only know that I once aspired to make Betwixt a launching point for a greater spirit in all of us, and now when I'm on the cusp of yet another incarnation, I want to put it to the test. How useful is this tool, this portal ... what more can Betwixt offer to me and my future then to be the pagan resource I imagined it to be?
Almost 5 years ago I created Betwixt to be a meeting place of minds on as many pagan and occult subjects as possible. Creating a web of thoughts and information for the newest spiritual explorer to the well learned and experienced ... a place that had something to offer everyone, be you student or teacher, or fellow seeker. It grew and morphed in ways I had not expected, members came and went (some on to the Summerlands), it got personal for many - wars waged and spirits bonded, eventually after a couple of years a few friends took up residence in its cyberhalls and have kept the torch burning even when Life took me away ... on the back of a Harley under the stars and moon.
A lot of time has passed for me since then. I've become more in touch with my spirituality and my purpose, I've learned how to use my Will in my life and have decided to captain my own ship, so to speak. I marvel at the changes that have occured - I'm virtually unrecognizable to those in my past - I have evolved in ways that have marked me permenantly. Its this sense of identity that I'm writing about now ... that and the fact that 3 people from Betwixt have contacted me in as many weeks wanting to know how I managed to fall off the planet, lol.
About 3 years ago I found the local pagan community, and by association ... more kin through-out the region. 2 years ago I became active in the local WCC (wiccan church of canada) attending services, workshops, festivals and other networking experiences. I've lost count of how many shades of wicca I've encountered, in addition ... theres been freemasons, heathens, native medicine, ceremonialists, voudon, and eclectic solitaires ... Here be Witches (and coffee). I've had the pleasure of meeting leaders and guides of all these paths and am amaze at the scope of some of these individuals. As folks got to know me, I was invited to private affairs the likes of which I had only read about (being solitaire) and events I couldn't even imagine!
Years of practicing on my own allowed me the benefit of being able to assimilate the experiences with knowledge ... no de-programing or paganism 101 required, instead I found that these new opportunities with like-minded people broadened & deepened my understanding in a few things. Adding new dimensions to my points of view ... much the way Betwixt does today - I read the posts in a different light then I once did. At the same time these changes were happening on a spiritual plane, my career had kicked into full swing and I was literally put through my paces, some days I hit the wall, other days I managed to scale it and sometimes I fell off it. It was a personally challenging and draining time, physically & mentally, so having an outlet for my spirit had become crucial and a incredible focal point at that time.
It may have been that intensity that led me to accepting an officer role within the WCC ... I became the guardian of their ritual space. I made an oath before the gods to protect the temple and its priestess, no matter what came our way ... whether it was in winter quarters or out in the parks during the warm days.... mundane or magically speaking. Yeah seems kinda melo-dramatic, but the truth is there are intolerant fanatics out there and I've had to deal with them. And there is also some weird happenings from time to time outside of defined sacred space. So I assumed the role of Summoner for a year & a day (15 months actually) and had some experiences that defied reality a time or two. I've presided over a wiccan requiem, a handfasting, seen a few invocations (of various traditions), feasted and met deity. It was a helluva ride on all levels.
This past year, I've spent trying to apply my knowledge and experiences to my day to day life ... trying to figure out the best use for the skills and talents I've cultivated and uncovered. Its hard for me to believe that I'm actually on the road towards training in a wiccan tradition, but it's currently the best opportunity for me to serve the greater community, as a priestess and a representative of WCC priesthood, I can enter hospitals and jails in a religous capacity. I've made promises and commitments that are going to take me further into uncharted waters, but I'm hoping to keep this path between my past & future open.
So thats it in a nut shell ... Life just keeps on truckin'
Be well ... and help me stay in touch, would ya?
Blessed Be
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