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Universal Feelings
Everything Is
Relative
Every day we hear
stories of personal suffering and loss that far exceed our own. When we compare
our situations to those of people living in war-torn countries or those who have
lost their homes and livelihoods to natural disasters, it is tempting to
minimize our own experiences of suffering. We may feel that we don't have a
right to be upset about the breakup of a relationship, for example, because at
least we have food to eat and a roof over our heads.
While awareness of
the pain of others in the world can be a valuable way to keep our own struggles
in perspective, it is not a legitimate reason to disregard our own pain.
Disparaging your feelings as being less important than other people's emotions
leads to denial and repression. Over time, an unwillingness to experience your
own feelings leads to numbness. It is as if our internal systems become clogged
with our unexpressed emotions. This in no way helps other people who are
suffering in the world. In fact, it may do just the opposite because when we
devalue our own sorrow, we become impervious to the sorrow in others.
Fully experiencing our own hurt is the gateway to compassion toward
other human beings. Feelings of loss, abandonment, loneliness, and fear are
universal, and, in that sense, all feelings are created equal. Regardless of
what leads us to feel the way we do, our comprehension of what it means to be
human is deepened by our own experiences. Our personal lives provide us with the
material we need to become fully conscious. If we reject our emotions because we
think our experiences are not dramatic or important enough, we are missing out
on our own humanity. We honor and value the human condition when we fully
inhabit our bodies so we can experience and feel life fully. Accepting our
emotions and allowing ourselves to feel them connects us to all human beings.
Then, when we hear the stories of other people's suffering, our hearts can
resonate with understanding and compassion-for all of
us. |
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I never thought of this. I'm in the habit of devalueing to meaninglessness my own problems in comparison to others who I know have it much worse. And lately I've become shocked at how little anything can effect me anymore. I find it scary how little I'm beginning to feel about anyone or anything. I guess its time to start dealing with those problems and taking them a little more seriously instead of ignoreing everything and letting nothing touch me. Many of us men are expected and taught to be this way, but only recently have I learned to be this way. My becomeing just like everyone else makes me fit in a little better with others, but I can't help feeling more than a bit sad at the loss of much of my feelings and cares. This is a great insight, hopefully it will spread and society will learn to put value back to themselves and everything else. |
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I hear you, Roger. I
think more often than not what you expressed about your feelings is true for
many of us. And as with everything in life the key lies in finding that
special balance. It's a wide spectrum...we can deny our own experiences of
pain (because we feel they're not as important as ___) or we can magnify them to
the exclusion and insensitivity to the painful experiences of
others.
Ah the process of discovery,
my friend! I do believe the measure we honor, accept and respect ourselves
is the same measure we are then able to extend honor, acceptance and
respect towards others.
Leila |
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Reply
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Universal Feelings
Everything is
Relative
Every day we hear stories of personal suffering
and loss that far exceed our own. When we compare our situations to those of
people living in war-torn countries or those who have lost their homes and
livelihoods to natural disasters, it is tempting to minimize our own experiences
of suffering. We may feel that we don’t have a right to be upset about the
breakup of a relationship, for example, because at least we have food to eat and
a roof over our heads.
While awareness of the pain of others in the
world can be a valuable way to keep our own struggles in perspective, it is not
a legitimate reason to disregard our own pain. Disparaging your feelings as
being less important than other people's emotions leads to denial and
repression. Over time, an unwillingness to experience your own feelings leads to
numbness. It is as if our internal systems become clogged with our unexpressed
emotions. This in no way helps other people who are suffering in the world. In
fact, it may do just the opposite because when we devalue our own sorrow, we
become impervious to the sorrow in others.
Fully experiencing our own
hurt is the gateway to compassion toward other human beings. Feelings of loss,
abandonment, loneliness, and fear are universal, and, in that sense, all
feelings are created equal. Regardless of what leads us to feel the way we do,
our comprehension of what it means to be human is deepened by our own
experiences. Our personal lives provide us with the material we need to become
fully conscious. If we reject our emotions because we think our experiences are
not dramatic or important enough, we are missing out on our own humanity. We
honor and value the human condition when we fully inhabit our bodies so we can
experience and feel life fully. Accepting our emotions and allowing ourselves to
feel them connects us to all human beings. Then, when we hear the stories of
other people’s suffering, our hearts can resonate with understanding and
compassion—for all of us. |
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