The Dark Side of the Sacred
by Miriam
Greenspan
Emotions live in the body. It is not enough simply to
talk about them, to be a talking head. We need to focus our attention on
emotions where they live. This willingness to be present allows the emotion to
begin to shift of its own accord. An alchemy starts to happen �?a process of
transmutation from something hard and leaden to something precious and powerful,
like gold.
This is a chaotic, nonlinear
process, but I think it requires three basic skills: attending to, befriending,
and surrendering to emotions in the body. Paying attention to or attending to
our emotions is not the same as endless navel gazing and second-guessing
ourselves. It is mindfulness of the body, an ability to listen to the body’s
emotional language without judgment or suppression.
Befriending follows from focusing
our attention and takes it a step further: it involves building our tolerance
for distressing emotions. When I was giving birth to my first child, my midwife
said something that has stood me in good stead ever since: “When you feel the
contraction coming and you want to back away from it, move toward it instead.�?
The feeling in the body that we want to run away from �?that’s precisely what we
need to stay with. A simple way to do this is to locate the emotion in the body
and breathe through it, without trying to change or end
it.
The third skill, surrendering, is
the spiritual part of this process. Surrendering to suffering is usually the
last thing we want to do, but surrender is what brings the unexpected gifts of
wisdom, compassion, and courage. Surrendering is about saying yes when we want
to say no �?the yes of acceptance. This is what really allows the alchemy to
happen. We don’t “let go�?of emotions; we let go of ego, and the emotions then
let go themselves. This is “emotional flow.�?When we let the dark emotions flow,
something unexpected and unpredictable often occurs. Consciously experienced,
the energy of these emotions flows toward healing and harmony. I’ve found that
unimpeded grief transforms itself into heightened gratitude; that consciously
experiencing fear expands our ability to feel joy; and that being mindful of
despair �?really entering into the dark night of the soul with the light of
awareness �?renews and deepens our faith.
--
"Your vision will become clear
only when you look into your heart.
Who looks outside, dreams.
Who looks inside, awakens."
* Carl Jung
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