Conditioned Response
Reactions To
Life Events
Our
experiences color everything. The events of the past can have a profound effect
on how we see our lives now and what we choose to believe about our world. Our
past experiences can also influence our emotional reactions and responses to
present events. Each of us reacts to stimulus based on what we have learned in
life. There is no right or wrong to it; it is simply the result of past
experience. Later, when our strong feelings have passed, we may be surprised at
our reactions. Yet when we face a similar situation, again our reactions may be
the same. When we understand those experiences, we can come that much closer to
understanding our reactions and consciously change them.
Between
stimulus and reaction exists a fleeting moment of thought. Often, that thought
is based on something that has happened to you in the past. When presented with
a similar situation later on, your natural impulse is to unconsciously regard it
in a similar light. For example, if you survived a traumatic automobile accident
as a youngster, the first thing you might feel upon witnessing even a minor
collision between vehicles may be intense panic. If you harbor unpleasant
associations with death from a past experience, you may find yourself unable to
think about death as a gentle release or the next step toward a new kind of
existence. You can, however, minimize the intensity of your reactions by
identifying the momentary thought that inspires your reaction. Then, next time,
replace that thought with a more positive one.
Modifying your reaction
by modifying your thoughts is difficult, but it can help you to see and
experience formerly unpleasant situations in a whole new light. It allows you to
stop reacting unconsciously. Learning the reason of your reactions may also help
you put aside a negative reaction long enough to respond in more positive and
empowered ways. Your reactions and responses then become about what's happening
in the present moment rather than about the past. As time passes, your negative
thoughts may lose strength, leaving only your positive thoughts to inform your
healthy reactions.