----- In recent negotiations for influenza vaccine between a Canadian       health official and an American representative, it was clear that there was a disconnect between the American government's sudden reliance on Canada for influenza vaccine despite the fact that the U.S. wants to discourage Americans from buying routine prescription drugs from Canadian pharmacies.

 

Not seeing the irony in the request, the American continued to press for the vaccine and then demanded to know why the United States would be charged for the vaccine when Canadians get theirs "for free." 

 

The Canadian official replied, "Oh it's not free, the government pays for it."

 

"Well then," the American replied, "How much will it cost us?"

The Canadian replied, "Well, we don't know...we'll let you know."

 

In frustration, the American replied, "Well, it's urgent, so just send an invoice with the shipment.  By the way...how will the vaccine be delivered?"

 

After careful consideration, the Canadian official replied, "By cow.  Twenty vials of vaccine will be tied around the neck of every cow that passes over the border.  Now...if you want faster delivery, there are some some softwood lumber trucks available..."