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Coping with the Psychopath/Narcissist Child[email protected] 
  
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Your stories : Why does it hurt so much? My story
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 Message 1 of 11 in Discussion 
From: XtraMSN Nicknameangells  (Original Message)Sent: 25/06/2006 12:33 a.m.
Why does it hurt so much to finally stand up to my daughter and let her know what she did was a nasty thing and she needs to apologize she needs to take responsibility for her actions.  She locked out my grandkids from the house went to work and left them they are 10, 11 and 14 and I had to go pick them up and it was  still kind of cold out in February. Then she came to get them, after work  and was out the door before I knew it without them. Ran to the bar where my husband stops after work once a week, and stayed there. Her boyfriend told my granddaughter she called and left a message that she was out and with another man ,meaning her stepfather. So I knew where she was. when I got to the bar to ask my husband if she  was there, he lied to me said she wasn't . Her kids wanted to go home since they had school the next day. My other daughter and my grandkids were in the car waiting for me while I went in to find out if their mother was there. She stayed there  for hours and didn't come back until I went there to get my husbands car and walked into the bar. She ran out the back door. Drove back to my house drunk. I called and told my other daughter not to let her take her kids and drive. By the time I made it home , the police were outside of my home. My P daughter got so  nasty she was screaming at my daughter and started beating on her own daughter who is 14 because she did not want to get in the car. Then she lied and told the cops my daughter who is 23 and a social worker had pot in her room to get her in trouble. She has always been jealous of her. At that point I said the kids could stay over but my daughter had to go. So her boyfriend picked her up. The next day she has an old boyfriend pick up the kids. The next day she called the children 's aid and told lies about my daughter that she was taking my son to buy crack my son is 15 she hates him as well. and I allowed it because I was afraid of him cause he beats me everyday. She told lies about me my daughter and my son.They are both from her stepfather.  Now I can't even see my grandkids. She had the nerve to just come over after three months ,on mother's day like nothing happened. I told her how could you do this to me and your sister tell such lies. She said my other daughter could have called a cab for her..She was so out of control she would never have gotten into a cab. .She got mad at me and took the kids and left. Of course she made sure the only one who I really do have somewhat of a relationship with my grandson was at his fathers for mother's day She thinks she is justified in what she did to us. She has caused a lot of problems in the past. Usually every time you helped her out with a move or babysitting or anything she would find a reason to turn her anger on you and get nasty. So she would only come around when she needed a babysitter. Holidays the kids were allowed to come for half hour to collect their gifts and go home. There is no relationship with anyone in our family to her. She told her kids friends are only good if you can use them.  She put her x in jail for two years, and I believe him now how she lied about him too. She had a stroke at 17, and her father is schizophrenic.
She went to school and got a masters while her three kids lived with her on campus. After she put her x in jail, and got divorced. She talks about her x as being narcistic but doesn't see herself how she just uses people and has no real feelings for anyone. When I had cancer three years ago and had surgery she didn't come to see me at all.
She has my husband running her around for six months straight every day while she had no car,  until I got fed up and told her and him about it one day.  I really want to not have any thing more to do with her and even my grandkids are cold toward me when I see them because of her brainwashing them, except my grandson he snuck over on his bike a few times to see me, but I think she found out and he has not been over since. I don't know if I should take her to court or if its a waste of time since the kids are all ready turned. My oldest granddaughter has a cell phone she always tells me it is dying when I call her.  and she only wants to visit with my other daughter her aunt. She used to come over and ignore me all the time. I am tired of being hurt by my daughter. She has told so many lies in the past too. I can't trust her anymore. I hurt but dont' know what to do. How do you just stop having anything to do with your own flesh and blood your first born, and my only grandkids I feel such a void. I have been searching and I found this group because I wonder if others have this same problem and what do you do to get through it. My daughter who lives at home says she will never talk to her half sister again. She says she is too dangerous.
Because she tried to destroy her life. She is a social worker and she knows my oldest daughter has mental problems. but still wants nothing more to do with her.
 


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 Message 2 of 11 in Discussion 
From: XtraMSN Nicknamefreespirit211Sent: 25/06/2006 3:54 a.m.
Dear angells,

Sounds like you have reached the end of your rope and there isn't enough room to even tie a knot in it to hang on to as it well should be. We have the right to live a peaceful life. Plain and simple. No if ands or buts.

You have come to the right place. When I first got here, I had been dealing with the problem all on my own. I would cry in the middle of the day, feel emotions I never knew existed, feel guilty for the feelings that I had. Because of these women who are so incredibly strong, I have found a place of healing in my heart where I am in charge, and I am what matters here. Stick around with these women. Also, there are some articles on the left hand side of the main page that you can read up on.

My P son is out of my life and I like it that way now. That has not always been the case. It was by coming on here as a form of therapy(no therapist would have understood and would have labeled me crazy instead) in order for ME to recover that I believe I am doing better. Glad you are here but wish it weren't under these circumstances.

freespirit


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 Message 3 of 11 in Discussion 
From: XtraMSN Nicknamegenie327Sent: 25/06/2006 6:41 a.m.
Hi angells. So sorry to read your story......but your grandchildren are getting to an age where they will soon be able to make thier own minds up......I have problems with my youngest daughter who has a baby.....we are all in this nightmare together. hugs. genie.

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Sent: 25/06/2006 9:17 a.m.
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 Message 5 of 11 in Discussion 
From: XtraMSN NicknameangellsSent: 25/06/2006 6:14 p.m.
Thanks for replying so quick. I really didn't think it was abuse, but you are right. She has controlled the situation with my grandchildren for a long time. It has been a roller coaster ride, with me not seeing much of them or when she needed me to babysit I could have them. When she didn't need me or got mad I wouldn't see them or if I got too close to any of them she would stop letting me see them. My grandson showed up today out of the blue again, got a friends mom to drop him off. He is the only one who makes the effort he is going into seventh grade. I told my daughter that she would not be able to stop them when they got older anyway. When you have a grandbaby you can't see, I know how much that hurts, she did that to me I dont' have many memories of them then. If you can have rights as grandparents in your state that would be the way to go . I should have done that years ago. It will take the control out of your child's hand, as kids are just to be used to fill their needs.  I am going through stuff with my youngest son at home too, he is verbally abusive to me and has been getting into trouble not going to school, and drinking.  . There are so many issues going on in my home that It's a wonder I am not off my rocker lol. Sorry if I am saying too much, just need to let things out sometimes.

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Sent: 25/06/2006 6:29 p.m.
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 Message 7 of 11 in Discussion 
From: XtraMSN NicknameKazza9100Sent: 25/06/2006 7:19 p.m.
Hi angells, welcome to the site.  Im so sorry that you are going thru this. 
 
Ive read your posts on here and you must be going thru hell. 
 
We are all here for you so vent as much or as little as you like.  Believe me it helps.  I wouldnt be where I am today (I would probably be in the local nuthouse), if it wasnt for these lovely ladies on here.
 
Keep strong.
 
Kazza

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 Message 8 of 11 in Discussion 
From: XtraMSN Nicknamegenie327Sent: 25/06/2006 9:30 p.m.
Hi.these affected people cause so much disharmony in the home that we don't a;lways see what is going on with the other members of the family.....as in your son.........they survive by causing as much grief and pain.so we don't really see what they are up to...they react, we get angry.they get satisfaction.

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 Message 9 of 11 in Discussion 
From: XtraMSN NicknamezinmalkelSent: 26/06/2006 12:29 a.m.
Hi angells,
Welcome to the group.I am sorry that you are having such a hard time with all that is going on in your life.Its good to vent and know that others really understand what you are going through.It helps me to restore my sanity! The anger, hurt, and  shock are all normal emotions that our Ps thrive on when they see us suffering.They have no emotions at all for anyone.Try to keep strong, we are all here for you and will always listen.
Take care
zin

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 Message 10 of 11 in Discussion 
From: XtraMSN Nicknamefreespirit211Sent: 26/06/2006 3:39 a.m.
Dear Angells,

I think you are so right on in venting. Believe me, we hear every word. I am thankful that I have feelings. That is more than I can say for any P's in the background.

Why do we hurt so much in standing up to a P? Well, I know one thing is that they spit out this mental venom on us. I thought of it as kind of like performing an exorcism with P with me being the preacher. Confronting him with the light when he's in the darkness...rarrrrhhhhh!!!!!!! Who needs it?

Get it all out girl. That stuff is sitting in there like poison and the more you release it, the less power it has over you to ruin your body. We are here for you to be a shoulder to lean on . Lean honey; We promise to not let you fall.

hugs

freespirit







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Sent: 26/06/2006 5:03 a.m.
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