New guy here, I am the stepfather of a 13 yr old girl, who was diagnosed with narcissistic traits, oppositional defiant disorder and adhd.  I will give a list of things that we have experienced. 

 

Doesn't accept no as an answer, very argumentative.

 

Throws temper tantrums when told no, excessive yelling and crying, occasionally throws things.

 

Shows no empathy, remorse if or until she's going to be punished for said act. 

 

Will take money from us, has stolen at least once from a store, and a friend. 

 

Always has an excuse, blames someone else for her behaviors.

 

Falsely accused mother of physically abusing her to school counselor, thankfully the counselor realized this wasn't true.  Also accused an uncle of molesting her, then recanted, just for shock value I believe.  I live in fear daily she's going to accuse me of such an act.  She has threatened me recently with going to school and telling them I abuse her, and that she would make sure there would be marks.  Didn't happen thankfully, yet anyway.

 

Caught in the act of holding her 3 yr old bro on floor, face down, standing on his back.  He wasn't hurt seriously thank God.  She terrorizes him on a fairly regular basis.  All relationships with children are shortlived and meaningless.  Always in conflict with adults and children.  Must be in control at all times. 

 

She came in one day from a friends house and sat down at 11 yrs old, almost 12, that she had just had oral sex with another girl, 12.  No embarassment whatsoever. 

 

Almost 2yrs ago, she discussed with me and her mother how she was angry with her mother and brother, who was 1 at the time, how she had planned to suffocate them both, but decided she wasn't big enough to do that to her mother, she would have to stab her with a kitchen knife.  But she would easily suffocate her brother.  She also begins to say, how no one would suspect her and if they did, she was just a child and couldn't go to jail.  I was terrified, my wife too, for awhile, then she dismisses it and said she just said that for attention, whatever!! 

 

End of May this yr she threatened to kill me, and said she should have done it the first time she had the chance. 

 

She has a history of cruelty to animals since at least 8 yrs. old.  Don't believe she has actually killed one though.  We had to get rid of a pet mouse that was absolutely terrified of her, anytime she walked into the room, the mouse would try and hide in it's cage. 

 

A few yrs ago, our cat clawed it's way out of a screen window never to be seen again, I believe it was because of her. 

 

Asks very inappropriate questions, says odd things. 

 

Reprimanded at school last year for attempting to throw acid on another child, she said it was an accident, mom bought that, I'm sure the teacher didn't, I heard the msg he left on our machine.  "I was very disturbed at what I seen K do today."  But mom and daughter convinced him otherwise and punishment was reduced greatly. 

 

Highly intelligent, comes off as a very polite and nice child when you first meet her. 

 

Mother said as a baby, she was very distant, and would push her away, wouldn't make eye contact, cried a lot and always wanted her way. 

 

Witnessed many many times her smiling an evil smile anytime she makes someone mad. 

 

Gets good grades in school, I thought that was odd, but have heard that isn't uncommon. 

 

Personally believe her Dx would have been CD instead of ODD had her mother told the psychologist administering her psych eval that she had the cruelty to animals, stealing, and threatening bodily injury to her resume, but mom was too embarassed, I can understand that.  We got the eval, because we were preparing her for Boys Town, then mom balks at that idea, because I am for it and she suddenly decides she not really that bad, she will get better.  My wife knows I don't like her, I admitted as much, I feel extremely guilty for that, but it's true.  This child causes nothing but chaos and has caused a lot of heartache, and I know it's only going to get worse.  I don't know where to turn anymore, I just want some relief, we all do, but wife is in and out of denial.  I have no one to talk to about it, no one that understands.  Wife and I argue about it when we talk.  I want help and want to tell the proper authorities about this, but who, I want to remain anonymous also, cause should my wife find out it's me our relationship would be over, we now have 2 wonderful sons of our own, good boys too, so far.  I love my wife and kids and can't afford to lose them, but also feel I'm gonna lose something far greater if I do nothing.  Thanks for listening.