Hi Vera,

     One of the criteria for diagnosis of ASPD is the onset of severe conduct problems before the age of ten. A child whose severe conduct problems begin at a later age has a potentially brighter prognosis.

     I obviously don't know what the future holds for you and your daughter. My own son always had some behavioral issues..ADD type symptoms, lying..it wasn't until he was in his teens that the nightmarish years began - drugs, multiple arrests, stealing, physical violence, etc. I was convinced that he was P.  At 22, the rages have stopped. He still has problems, but in personality , is more like he was as a young boy. I beleive he had adolescent onset conduct disorder.

Some kids get better with time, some get worse.

 You may find the link here  to Dr.Leedoms' site helpful.

   I have no experience with CPS..wish you all the best in getting your son back and in making sense of your daughter's problems.

take care,

paradox

Thank you paradox......

Vera: I am so, so sorry for what you are going through.  I too have spent the last 3 years on the psychopath site trying to make sense of a 4 year abusive relationship with a NP.  The one year we all lived together was a nightmare.  jShe made the call to CPS without telling me.  I don't blame her for this since this was the first night I'd witnessed him unmask.  He was keeping me all night on a week night to have me gaze adoringly at his acting ability.  Like a true N, he was trying on all of his collection of hats and acting roles.  He got into the bad jDetroit city guy role and it took over his personality!  He woke the kids up by turning on every appliance in the house...waher, dryer, coffee bean grinder, tv etc...???Then he turned on me and cornered me, pulling my hair back and pointing his finger in my face calling me terrible things.  Later, he pinned me on the bed and threw a marble at my eye.  Sorry, didn't mean to go into so much detail, but she did have a right to call them.

 

My other child told me she was interviewed at school.  When they mjad a home visit, I innocently invited them in thnking there was some mistake.  When I got rid of him they went away.  When I reunited with him for a short stint, they were back in my life.

 

I think that with incredible determination and perseverence, you will fight for your son until you see the light at the end of this long dark tunnel you are in.  Get some old calendars out, or get some on line, and begin documenting a narrative of you and your daughters life.  Find or keep a therapist that you can tell all so that she can create her own documentation of the abuse.  Have your lawyer supeona it for court. 

 

I spent hours researching CPS on line.  While all this is going on, my NP, who I still love, is demanding I have his criminal restraining order lifted.   Generally, the victim can't lift a criminal protective order anyway.  I refused to do so in fear of getting CPS involved again. 

 

I don't have that much experience or wisdom in this area.  I do believe that you must give this every thing you have.  Write, write, write.  For me, things like the serenity prayer while walking into work really helped.

midnight...you lived through some traumatic stuff.you have the wisdom here and your input is invaluable. hugs to you..who better to ask advice from than someone who walked in your shoes?.don't put yourself down.we live and learn and learn and protect ourselves everyday.

 

I am humbled after reading what you have lived through and come out in one piece the other side....some tough woman!

Hello Vera

I could not help but reply to you. My daughter was the same as her dad too, both n/p's my mother was also one. I lived through three of these nightmares, until I discovered this site. I learned what that was all about. My d used suicide threats and once her children came also used them, saying she would kill them, her husband and then herself.

I could go on for hours, this happened over a 35yr period. It started when she was 15, this sort of thing was not heard about then.

She, minipulated, lied profusly, screamed at me, slandered me to all my family and friends, had sex with my male friends and told me about it in later years, traumatized me and her kids, and as I said I could go on for hours.

Her final betrayal was the last straw, I knew then what I was dealing with.

I am so much better now. I had to have a foot of my colon remover because of the stress of this.

I so wish I'd had this info then and saved myself the grief for all the years.

Read everything here on the left. It made all the lights go on for me, I think because I had a lot of references for many years. I realize now, I loved what I thought she was and not what she really is. It was what I wanted, a daughter who loved me in a normal way. I kept trying to help her thinking she couldn't know what she is doing or else she wouldn't do it. I was so wrong, she never loved me or anyone else, she has no feelings, no heart, empathy etc. any of the normal emotions.

My advice to you is RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN AND DON'T LOOK BACK.

You are in my heart as a soul sister. I hope I have helped you to understand, they don't and can't change. Accept that you are dealt a nasty blow. Save yourself.

Love

M

to natoyee. Welcome to this site........I am glad you found us and want to share your story. Its a hard road we walk on and so very confusing.

Thank you...it is now Dec. 29th.....I tried to e-mail Dr. Leedom directly but it came back Daemon-failure. I am certainly going to order her book, "Like Father Like Son", in my case Like Father Like Daughter. If I cannot get ahold of her I will sent story directly to Dr. Sam, I have his book also.

 

Vera206

Dear Natoyhee;

No responses for along time, have not been on this site for quite a while. I found the link from Dr. Liane Leeland, tried to e-mail her my very long story but came back as a "failure". I want to order her book,,,,as you know it is about our daughters being like the P father not my son. My daughter, 15 at the time trumped up charges against me to CPS (child protective services), also denied saying all those things and said that they (CPS) said it all. Since they are known for railroading people and making up false allegations, I believed her. They were wanting to "terminate jurisdiction" and give custody to the childrens' father who lives 3500 miles away in the Northeast...where we are from. He is an abuser and I divorced him///he is a Psychopath....been on Dr. Sam's site off and on for couple of years now. Once my daughter was back with her father, even though it was only to be for a few weeks in summer, CPS pulled a fast one and wanted to give him custody. My daughter called everyday or text messaged me, my 12 yr son was with her also.....he was the one I was really upset about. Anyway, both children complained that father ignored them, he worked over an hour away, hardly any food in the house, lived with some trailer trash woman that they claimed they wanted to kill. After all, he owed me 70,000 in back child support. Children claimed that he had NO pictures of them in his mobile home. He lived in a very rural area, my daughter claimed that her father called her a tramp and degraded her...as he had me....finally it got violent and he hit my daughter and threw son across the floor...police became involved, but took fathers side. Could be the ole boys network up there and they certainly have different laws on child abuse while they nailed me to the cross for pulling her hair and scratching her arm.

To sum it up...I hired private lawyer in CA to ge tthem back. Before I had one of these court appointed idiots, all part of the corruptacy of the Children's court with the DCSF (CPS) at the helm.

They were brought back on Sept 7, 2007, school had already started. They were put in foster homes until another court date Nov. 5 (my daughter's 16th BD). The judge let them return to the maternal GM house (my mother), where we had all been living for 4 years. The catch was that I had to be out of the house, there is an active R/O against me.....my supposed PAID lawyer  had done nothing to to address this. However.....within 2 weeks my daughter has resorted to her former ways and treating me as before...wants nothing to do with me now that she is back with her friends and her school. SHe is also giving my mother a very hard time......more later////I cannot even see my son. I am sure that my daughter is a full blown SOCIOPATH. In fact these courts only allow a certain length of time for re-unification services...I could have my parental right terminated because of her.......I WILL never ever forgive her, and I know what she is.....please anyone....how do I get my son. He has been speaking out now that he is older and cannot stand her either, they both see a therapist......could not be with son for Christmas either, it is killing both of us.

Thank you,

 

Vera206