Just a quick history of where I am now and where I started this trip, in 4/96 I found out I had lung cancer. I was planning on getting married in 6/96 and needless to say this was, as stated so eloquently by Riley (some of you may be too young to know this) "what a revoltin' development this is." I spoke with my then fiancee about this and really said she did not buy into this so if she wants out that is fine, I will understand. Her answer was that we better get married right away, she wants to be my wife, not my intended if something happens and I die. So we were married on 5/5/96 in the Rabbi's study. I was living in Pennsylvania and working in NYC so we were looking to stay in Pa. and both of us commute to NYC, she was originally from NYC. Well being that she did not drive we felt it would be more advisable to move to NYC, get everything done there and live there too, and that was what we did. I took my trusty insurance book and started to look for dr.s in NY and finally found a wonderful thoracic surgeon. We went to see him, he scheduled the surgery for June end and then said go get married, go on your honeymoon, and when you get back we will take care of you. So that was what we did, got married again, had the party for all our friends and family and shot down to the Jersey shore for our honeymoon. When we got back I had the surgery and all was great until about 4 years later and the same thing happened again, this time the other lung had the cancer and we went through the whole process, only this time with a new surgeon because my other one retired and moved to Bermuda. So in 6/00 I was operated on again. In both surgeries I lost parts of each lung, in 6/96 I lost about 38% of my left lung and in 6/00 I lost about 31% of my right lung. All was going very well until 10/02 when I had this terrible cold. I had a CT scan done and there was a mass there in my right lung. They thought it was tuberculosis and I started to take medication for it. For those that are not familiar with it you take about 27 pills a day for about 6 months to get rid of it, if it is indeed TB. The pills were really making me sick and after about 6 weeks of this my dr. suggested another CT scan and a needle biopsy. These are the least fun things in the world, they stick a 12" needle hrough your back into your lung and pull out a sample and then they get a biopsy. The test, if all goes well is about 8 minutes, after they line you up, make sure all the i's are dotted and the t's are crossed. They then insert the needle and get the sample. After the test you need to hang around for about 5 hours because there is a possibility that your lung might collapse and it is better to be in the hospital in this event so they can reinflate it. Oh well, back to the CT, they did it and saw that the mass had grown and that eliminated the thought of TB. My surgeon, who did the 2nd surgery, after getting the results of the biopsy and seeing it was not cancer again, still suggested surgery to remove it because it was very close to the pleura and it could be dangerous. That brings us to why I am here, I was operated on in 10/02 and since that surgery I have been in terrible pain. Since that time I have been on oxycontin, and over that period the amount of times taking the pill have changed (I am time released meds), the dosage has changed and in a week I see the pain med dr. again because the it seems the 12 hours the pill is supposed to last is quickly turning into about 7 hours.

So that it is, I am always in pain, it feels like my chest is in a vise, tightening and constricting as the pill wears off. I have trouble breathing when the meds wear off, I cannot take a deep breathe and on top of this I also have COPD, chronic obstructive pulmonary disorder. That is why I am here, at times the pain is so bad I just end doubling over and holding my chest. Thank G-d I hae a wife in my life that, without doubt, is the best thing that ever happened to me. In many areas I am here because of this lady. She has been my rock and my salvation and I adore her with everything I possess, after 10 years she is still my bride and will never stop being that.

I think that is about it for now. I have many amusing "cancer" stories that I will eventually tell ya'll but for now please read these chapters and I will give a flash quiz at our next meeting.

Seriously, thank you for everyone here and for the support. I learned a long time ago from people that helped me, it is now time to pay it forward, giving back is a wonderful thing.

Brett